Nolte: Doomed CNN Cancels Failed Morning Show

People walk by the world headquarters for CNN on March 15, 2022 in Atlanta, Georgia. Last
Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images

The USS: CNN is sinking fast, and the failing cable channel just threw its joke of a morning show over the side.

CNN This Morning launched to dreadful ratings in November 2022. This disaster succeeded New Day, which was its own disaster because everything associated with CNN is a disaster.

In the most recent monthly ratings, CNN This Morning ranked number 49 in all of cable news, with an average of only 317,000 viewers. Three shows on Newsmax TV earned more viewers.

The only good part of CNN This Morning was the personal drama involving the three cohosts: Don Lemon, Kaitlan “Nurse Ratched” Collins, and Poppy Harlow. Snits. Ego trips. Stupidity. Drama. Conflict. And, of course, because this is CNN, a nonstop avalanche of fake news, conspiracy theories, misinformation, and lies.

NEW YORK, NEW YORK - DECEMBER 11: (L-R) Kaitlan Collins, Don Lemon, and Poppy Harlow attend the 16th annual CNN Heroes: An All-Star Tribute at the American Museum of Natural History on December 11, 2022 in New York City. (Photo by Mike Coppola/Getty Images for CNN)

NEW YORK, NEW YORK – DECEMBER 11: (L-R) Kaitlan Collins, Don Lemon, and Poppy Harlow attend the 16th annual CNN Heroes: An All-Star Tribute at the American Museum of Natural History on December 11, 2022 in New York City (Photo by Mike Coppola/Getty Images for CNN).

Don Lemon ended up getting fired. Nurse Ratched failed her way into a primetime gig, where she continues to fail, attracting fewer than 500,000 viewers in January — a presidential primary month.

I have no idea what’s going to happen to Poppy Harlow. With that name, she might want to join a commune and strum a guitar in dirty bare feet.

And now CNN This Morning is no more.

And what’s CNN’s genius plan to salvage the two hours that were once filled by CNN This Morning?

Get a load of this…

Kasie “Joyless” Hunt, who currently anchors the hour before CNN This Morning with Early Start, will expand her anchoring job by an hour. Hunt’s Early Start attracted only 180,000 viewers in January, but failing up is the only way up at CNN these days. The second hour of CNN This Morning will be filled by an expanded hour of the program that followed — CNN News Central, which attracted only 496,000 viewers last month.

Hey, you suck. No one likes you. No one trusts you. No one watches you. Wanna promotion?

The beauty of all this is that CNNLOL’s stable is so hollowed out by unappealing anchors no one trusts that the outlet has no choice but to replace failure with two other failures. CNN’s got nothing else, not even one star like a Rachel Maddow or Greg Gutfeld, who attracts a loyal following.

Greg Gutfeld hosts “Gutfeld!” at FOX Studios on October 12, 2022, in New York City (Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images).

All CNN’s got is a bunch of prune-faced harpies and metrosexual cucks, which makes it impossible to salvage a timeslot.

Popularity breeds popularity, but you need someone popular to anchor your schedule in the hope people will stay tuned and get used to whoever is next.

CNN has no one like that, no one even close. They are all awful, humorless, self-satisfied prigs. MSNBC attracts twice the viewership CNN does, which proves there’s a left-wing audience out there ready to be lied to and misled. Fake news is the least of CNN’s problems. Until CNN dumps its unappealing staff, this ship will keep right on sinking. And I will sit here enjoying every second of it.

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