CNN is a five-alarm ratings catastrophe, which should make every decent person in the world feel good about life and the moral arc of history.
Despite all of these primary elections and other news events, CNN could only average 653,000 prime time viewers during the week of August 29.
Gee, CNNLOL, you think you may need to do more than fire Brian Stelter?
This is how awful CNN’s ratings are…
Prime Time Total Viewers and 25-54 Demo Viewers
- Fox News: 2.14 million – 286,000
- MSNBC: 1.4 million – 136,000
- CNNLOL: 653,000 – 136,000
MSNBC is now doubling CNN in total viewers. Fox News is more than tripling CNN.
Total Day Total Viewers and 25-54 Demo Viewers
- Fox News: 1.42 million – 206,000
- MSNBC: 863,000 – 89,000
- CNNLOL: 529,000 – 99,000
During prime time, CNN has fallen to 11th place, while Fox News is number two and MSNBC is number three.
But-but-but we fired Brian Stelter! Isn’t that what you wingnuts wanted?
That’s how these morons think.
I suppose now that CNN has fired that smug liar John Harwood, they expect us to return.
Dear Warner-Discovery Morons: CNN needs an enema. You don’t pick rat droppings off the ice cream cone and then eat the ice cream cone. You throw the ice cream cone away and get a new one. CNN is corrupt from stem to stern. You need a new CNN, a brand new CNN, with an entirely different set of anchors and producers… But only after you’ve emptied the building and left one of these machines running over a long weekend.
The faces of your network — Dana Bash, Anderson Cooper, Jake Tapper, John Berman, Briana Keiler, Don Lemon, etc. — are the faces of The Russia Collusion Hoax, the ‘Hands Up, Don’t Shoot Hoax,’ the Jussie Smollet Hoax, the Hunter Laptop Is Russia Misinformation Hoax, the Brett Kavanaugh Is a Serial Rapist Hoax, the Covington KKKids Hoax…
And it’s not just that… It’s not just the lies and corruption… They’re all smug, superior, unappealing jerks.
Do the enema. Set up that bacteria-killing machine. Then we’ll talk…
Okay, that’s not true.
We are never coming back.
CNN is doomed.
The CNN brand might as well register as a sex offender because it’s just that permanently damaged.
And planted stories like this desperate fiction won’t gaslight us into returning.
Honestly, from my point of view, this relationship is perfect. The lulz that come with your ratings are freaken priceless. Please don’t change a thing.
Follow John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC. Follow his Facebook Page here.
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