Nolte: CNNLOL’s Brooke Baldwin Exits, Whining About the Patriarchy

CNNLOL’s Brooke Baldwin, who is so bad at her job, she was sent home and replaced during the hottest part of the 2020 presidential election, is exiting CNNLOL, whining about the patriarchy.

In February, Baldwin announced her CNNLOL contract wasn’t going to be renewed she would be leaving the fake news outlet to start “the next chapter” of her life.

“I will be leaving CNN[LOL] in April,” Baldwin announced in February on her basement-rated show.“Let me back up. After most of my 20s working my way up in local news, I came to this network in 2008 in the midst of the Great Recession as a freelancer. I remember,” she added, “I scribbled my name on a post-it note and stuck it outside of this temporary office determined to fulfill my dream of becoming a full-time CNN[LOL] correspondent.”

Whatever, sweetheart. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Baldwin was just dreadful at her job.

This is the aging anchor who blamed military veterans with PTSD for the Baltimore riots, who joined the rest of her fake news colleagues in deliberately misleading the American people for four years pushing the Russia Collusion Hoax, who shredded all her dignity to fake-cry on air over her white privilege, who is so clueless about the political world she covered, she actually believed there were term limits in Congress, who regularly fan-girled all over Barry Obama, who spread obvious race hoaxes, who had the news sense of a 12-year-old, who openly encouraged mobs to run Republicans out of public places, who bragged on-air about the size of her balls just a few weeks after she proved herself to be a joyless, humorless shrew when she scolded a man for using the word “boobs”…

Brooke Baldwin is a dolt who desperately wanted to fit in, who understood that to fit in, you had to be a raving leftist, but she just wasn’t smart enough to pull it off with any finesse. For the better part of a decade, she was a serial embarrassment to herself, her cause, and her fake news outlet. So as soon as the 2020 presidential election got super sexy, CNNLOL publicly humiliated her by having her replaced with Jake Tapper — a straight white person who identifies as male.

But now that she’s on her way out the door to enter into a life of obscurity and leave behind a forgettable — except for those LOL moments — legacy, Baldwin decided to gin up a little publicity for herself by crybabying about CNNLOL’s patriarchy:

Well, let me lift the curtain a little bit, and again, this is only my experience here at CNN, but you know, in my…so, I’ve been anchoring for 10-plus years, the majority of that time two hours in the afternoon, and in that time, you know, the most influential anchors on our network, the highest-paid, are men. My bosses, my executives are men. The person who oversees CNN Dayside is a man, and my executive producer for 10 years is a man.

So, I have been surrounded by a lot of men, and I do think it is changing. I know it is changing just by looking at some of the faces that are popping up more and more on our channel and on other channels, but that is just…and even going back to my early 20s, you know, I mean, the majority of my time spent as a cub reporter on into my 30s was spent with majority male photographers running around, shooting stories at whatever city I was living in at the time, and yes, there would be certainly women in the newsroom, but oftentimes, especially early on, they were women with very sharp elbows, and so, I was surrounded by a lot of dudes.

She also pretends says it was her decision to leave CNNLOL — yeah, whatever, Brooke — and explains her decision with this ham-handed piece of pandering:

Gosh, why am I leaving [CNNLOL] my family and my home? It’s a great question. I actually think the biggest part of the answer is because of this book and because of these trailblazing women, who I have had the privilege of interviewing, kind of like when you finish this journey of holding space with women like Gloria Steinem, and Stacey Abrams, and Megan Rapinoe, and Indigenous women fighting, you know, for the planet, or the women cofounders of Black Lives Matter…

Bye, Felicia!

Thanks for the laughs!

What was your name again?

 

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