Writing this was easy. Compiling it was a muthah.
Until you actually take the time to research the amount of lies and lies and lies the establishment media deliberately spread, you can’t begin to fathom just how bad things are. By the time I was done going through the entire year, I literally, no joke, had 11 pages of headlines to choose from for these awards.
Remember the good old days when “bias” was the media’s biggest problem?
Well, as you will see below, today’s media are full-blown gangsters — liars, extortionists, and champions of violence.
Here’s 2017’s list of winners.
Onward to 2018…
Hot Taker Whose Idiotic Hot Takes Hot Taked Him Into a Jackass the Left and Right Laugh at in Unison
Tie…
Runner up: CNN’s Chris Cillizza
This Year’s Chief Stenographer for Democrats Desperate to Spread Fake News Smears
Most Misleading Use of the Word ‘Credible’
Supplying the Most Proof the Media Should Not Be Reporting on Guns
Runner up: CNN
2018’s Biggest Credibility Collapse After Suffering 2017’s and 2016’s Biggest Credibility Collapse
CNN’s Jake “The Most Mistrusted Journalist In America” Tapper
Easter’s Biggest Asshole
Such a Big Liar Special Counsel Robert Mueller Felt the Need to Say Something
A gazillion-way tie:
Disgraced Watergate Reporter Who Forgot the Cover Up’s Worse than the Crime
Democrat Party’s Most Vital Ally For the 2018 Mid-Terms
The Dan Rather Award for Just Making Shit Up
The Worst Prediction Predicted By a Fake News Outlet that Knew It Was a Lie When Predicting It
Award for “Manufactured Outrage Over a Policy You Didn’t Care About When Obama Did It”
While listing the fake news outlets guilty of this I ran out of Internet.
Most Satisfying Self-Own of 2018
Most Satisfying Self-Own Committed By a Guy Who Reminds You of a Supporting Godfather Character
The Relentless Piece of Fake News That Is So Relentless and Fake It Is Now White Noise
Trump’s going to fire Robert Mueller
Worst Math Score By a Fake Indian’s Media Fluffer
Most Eager to Jump All Over Trump’s Penis
Most Eager for a Second Helping of Trump’s Penis
The Tree that Fell In the Neocon Forest
Greatest Impersonation of Joe McCarthy
Tie:
CNN’s Brian “The Tater” Stelter
Most Dishonest Legal Analyst Not Named Jeffrey Toobin
Worst Homophobe Working at NBC News
Tie:
“Be Careful What You Wish For” Award
The New York Times would like to thank Donald Trump for this award…
“Columnist so Shrill Only Dogs Can Hear Her” Award
Washington Post’s Jennifer Rubin
“Columnist so Dumb Forrest Gump Points and Laughs” Award
Washington Post’s Jennifer Rubin
Column Should Be Named “Mean-Girling without Principles” Award
Washington Post’s Jennifer Rubin
“The Potbelly Calling the Kettle Black” Award
The “I Say These Things Cuz I Have Nowhere Else To Go If CNN Fires Me” Award
Tie…
Biggest Piece of Fake News Spread By a Tax Dollar-Sucking Welfare Queen
Award for Proving Orwell Correct
“Educated But Still Breathtakingly Stupid” Award
Tie…
Most Amount of Effort Put Into a ‘Bombshell’ No One Cares About
“Warmest Embrace of Domestic Terrorism” Award
Tie:
“Had No Place to Go But Up and Still Went Down” Award
Dumbest Attempt to Get Crooked Hillary Off the Hook
“Biggest Surrender to the Reality that Everyone Hates You” Award
White House Correspondents’ Association
Dumbest Person on TV Not Named Wolf Blitzer or Jim Acosta
The Winner of 2018’s “Bye, Felicia” Award
“Worst Prediction Made By a Half-Witted Peacock Who Dyes His Hair too Dark” Award
“Predictions That Would Get You Fired If the Media Weren’t a Cult” Award
Tie:
“Hate Makes You Dumb” Award
Award for Failing to Understand Atticus Finch is the Good Guy in ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’
Dumbest-ass Historian Award
NBC’s Jon “The Newsweek Killer” Meacham
The Glenn Thrush Award for Super-Duper Creepy He-Man Woman-Haters Club
Tie…
Washington Post’s Jennifer Rubin
…and most especially Politico
The “Rape Is Merely Harassment When Bill Clinton’s Accused of It” Award
Worst Performance During a Hurricane
The Weather Channel’s Mike Seidel
The Hillary Clinton Award for Paranoid Liar Who Gets Away With It Cuz Our Media Is Garbage
Catfight of the Year
Deep State Fluffer of the Year
“Most Hysterical Comment Made By a Terrible Musician” Award
Trump ‘Opens the Door’ for Genocide By Calling Omarosa ‘Dog’
This Year’s “Alex Jones Is Still Here and You’re Not” Award
Award for Hiring an Unrepentant Racist
Tie…
Most Sincere Call for Fascism
The Daily Mail’s David Martosko
Second Most Sincere Call for Fascism
New York Times’ Maggie Haberman
The “Holy Shit You REALLY Love Fascism” Award
“Most Willing to Forgive Concentration Camps If Mike Pence Is Getting Owned” Award
Tie…
Every Establishment Media Outlet in America
“Most Pathetic Attack On a Supreme Court Nominee Ever” Award
Retraction of the Year Not Performed By CNN
… or CNN
Tie…
The Washington Post again…
The Jennifer Rubin Award for Shrillest Piece of Fake News Spread In the Shrillest Way Possible
Lying Liars Who Lie Just to Hear Themselves Lie Award
“What Do You Call a Good Start?” Award
“Lecture Us Some More About Real Conservatism” Award
“Most In-Depth Investigation Into a Company By That Same Company That Found Absolutely No Wrongdoing at Our Company” Award
Wild-Eyed Conspiracy Theorist of the Year
Tie…
The “You Gunna Believe Me Or Your Lying Eyes” Award
The “Sexual Harassers’ Bestest Media Friend” Award
The “ROTFLMFAO” Award
Tie…
The “You Might Want To Spend Some Time Outside the Beltway” Award
The “Elephant? What Elephant?” Award
Failing Upwards Award
The “Laws are for Little People” Award
New York Magazine’s Olivia Nuzzi
The “Don’t Let Me Stop You From Booing a Rape Victim” Award
Fake Doctor of the Year
The 2018 Fareed Zakaria Award for Plagiarism
The Bruce Willis Award for Government Shutdown Batshit-Crazy
2018’s “Trump’s Presidency Has Already Outlasted Your Career” Award
“The “Fake-Fake-Fake Newsing Your Way to a Big Promotion” Award
Runner Up…
—
Until next year….
Follow John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC. Follow his Facebook Page here.
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