‘Help! I Just Accidentally Slept With 25 Men And I Don’t Know Who The Father Is…’

From UK tabloid newspaper the Daily Mirror, a touching, thought-provoking vignette of the kind of dilemmas faced by the liberated young woman in modern Britain:

Dear Coleen,

I have been really stupid. I went to a party recently and got very drunk and had sex with all the guys there.

There was porn on the TV and, stupidly, I decided to copy it.

Now I’ve discovered that I’m pregnant – none of the men there wore condoms.

I don’t know what to do about the baby but I don’t think it’s sensible to continue with the pregnancy.

I obviously have no idea who the father is – he could be any one of 25.

I feel very ashamed.

There but for the grace of God go we all, eh?

Luckily Coleen is on hand with some sensitive advice (which doesn’t neglect to include a bit of fashionable man-blaming)

Coleen says

Your letter makes me really sad. I’m sad because you think so little of yourself that you’ve allowed these men to use you.

You need to look at how much you’re drinking and the people you’re hanging around with.

It also makes me angry that not one guy at the party tried to put a stop to it and considered how you were going to feel the next day.

You can’t change what happened but, hopefully, you’ve learned a massive lesson.

You need to stop beating yourself up over it and focus on what to do next.

Speak to your doctor about STI tests as well as your options for the pregnancy.

I think you need counselling to talk about what happened and whether you want to keep the baby.

Naturally you feel bad about what happened, but the important thing now is to learn from it and move on.