(Read Project Mayhem, Part I here)

When he’s not busy encouraging Massachusetts voters to commit voter fraud to “keep these bastards out,” or condemning “tea party rhetoric” for not “rising to the president’s challenge on tone” while calling Laura Ingraham a “right-wing slut,” MSNBC’s Ed Schultz indulges his hobby of swooping into states like Wisconsin and Ohio, becoming an overnight expert on legislation he is only familiar with from having skimmed through SEIU-furnished Cliffs Notes, calling the legislation “racist” while cheerleading union rallies with applause-cuing platitudes, waving his arms in solidarity and then peacing out.

Schultz made a recent visit to Columbus, Ohio in which he had Congressman Tim Ryan (whom I had interviewed hours prior about Senate Bill 5‘s alleged confiscation of safety equipment) and Senator Sherrod Brown on the show against a backdrop of union firefighters to whom, during commercial breaks, Schultz yelled that SB 5 “makes me believe Jimmy Hoffa even more that they are sons of bitches!” Throughout the broadcast Schultz and his guests parroted the manufactured mantra that the bill takes away safety equipment, perhaps almost enough times to make it true.

Admittedly breaking the SEIU’s first rule of Project Mayhem, I subsequently interviewed Schultz on camera and asked him to respond to the fact that the bill gives bargaining rights on safety equipment — which the Democrats’ earlier bill didn’t, citing the exact section number — to which he offered a Pulitzer Prize-warranting response: “That’s not what the firefighters are telling me.”

Well Ed, that may not be what the firefighters are telling you the bill says, but it is what the bill is telling me the bill says. When I later asked the author of SB 5, State Senator Shannon Jones, to respond to Schultz’s talking points, she clarified the provision in depth, noting to Schultz that “reading is fundamental.”

Surely Schultz must concur. A Democrat-registered tea partier once called into Schultz’s radio program to respectfully express his opposition to Obamacare, to which Schultz promptly called him an “idiot,” continuing:

“Did you pick up the damn bill and read it?! YES OR NO?! God, go pick up your gun and march if it makes you feel better because you’re too stupid to read!”

I’ll abstain from meeting Schultz where he is in terms of social graces by questioning his literacy, but would at least like to know when it came to SB 5, whether Schultz himself picked up the damn bill and read it.

Although Ohio Democrats’ 1983 collective bargaining bill never specified unions’ right to bargain on safety equipment, SB 5 did. Under Section 4117.08, the bill states that “equipment issues directly related to personal safety are subject to collective bargaining.” (ORC 4117.08). Until union front group We Are Ohio informs me that the Latin translation of “are subject to” is “are not subject to,” I will allow the English translation to suffice for now.

To be fair, opponents of the bill who have read it at least offer a more nuanced argument than Schultz. Appearing on Rachel Maddow’s show, Mike Weinman, Director of Government Affairs at the Fraternal Order of Police of Ohio, told Maddow that “under Senate Bill 5 now, it would be up to city councils whether or not you get that safety equipment.”

And this is true. SB 5 does, in fact, replace unfirable binding arbitrators unaccountable for budget solvency with elected officials answerable to both the taxpayer and the unions. In the private sector, this would be the equivalent of allowing the actual manager (who has a tangible stake in keeping the company solvent so as to avoid lay-offs) to negotiate with the union, rather than an uninvested yes man to waltz in, high-five union members and decide how much money said manager may have to pull out of thin air to accommodate.

Since in this case, the “manager” is the community’s taxpayers who depend upon firefighters on a life or death basis, perhaps the benefit of the doubt is owed to the notion that they most likely prefer a well-equipped, well-staffed fire department to do a bit more for them than save cats from trees. But that’s just what citizens who value their lives and safety are telling me.

It is only poetic that when Schultz had SB 5-proponent, former firefighter and Toledo mayor Mike Bell on his show to explain his support for the bill, protestors chanted one of their favorite SEIU mantras — “Hey hey! Ho ho! John Kasich has got to go!” — to muffle the response Bell was gallantly attempting to give. As Bell told Schultz a few minutes later, “When the yelling and screaming and all that is over, we still have to be able to pay the bills.” And this statement may be true, but unfortunately, it doesn’t rhyme.

The reason the mainstream media has been so perennially successful at maintaning its monopoly on news is its predatory seduction of collective emotional forethought; catering to the limbic system in the absence of logic and catalyzing knee-jerk reactionism. Its only train of actual thought is: throw a tantrum, ask questions later; condemn the bill, read it later. (Or as Nancy Pelosi would have it: “pass the bill,” then “find out what’s in it.”)

So where is Michael Moore to drive up and down 30 Rock in an ice cream truck reading SB 5 to NBC studios over a loudspeaker when we need him? Oh that’s right, he’s busy helping Schultz up the ante on Jimmy Hoffa’s threats of civil war.

That night in Columbus, Schultz spent his entire broadcast flaunting an empty chair with the name “Governor John Kasich” imprinted on it, deriding Kasich for declining his invitation to appear on the show, calling him a “chicken” for supposedly fleeing the interview. Afterward, when I informed Schultz of Section 4117.08, Schultz dismissively walked away. It may be fair to call this “fleeing the interview,” but then of course, that’s just what common sense is telling me.