Don’t Hurt Me
September 15, 2012
New York Times – President Obama has petitioned a Virginia Superior Court judge to issue a restraining order against Fox News contributor Brit Hume prior to tonight’s Presidential debate at James Madison University.
Obama stated in his complaint he fears for his campaign and is concerned Hume may “rough him up” in his role as moderator of the debate. The President wants Hume enjoined from coming within 500 feet of him with a question which might appear harmless but could be used to bludgeon him.
Drop the Ballot; Step Away from the Voting Booth
November 6, 2012
Reuters — In a massive protest today against the almost certain election of Republican Mitch Daniels to the Presidency, Democrats across the country avoided the polls, casting the integrity of the results into doubt.
In Washington, Senator Charles Schumer (D-NY) said it was heroic for 30 million Democrats to choose self-disenfranchisement rather than allow their votes to count for nothing. An AP survey last weekend had the President down to Daniels by 20%, despite gross oversampling of Wisconsin academics.
Summat for Nothing
July 22, 2013
Boston Globe — Cambridge Police Officer James Crowley of “beer summit” fame was arrested outside his Natick, Massachusetts home today and charged with disorderly conduct after pleading with a mob chanting “racist pig” to calm down.
Drive Me to the Moon
March 11, 2017
New York Daily News – At a press briefing this morning, President Elliot Spitzer rejected calls from Congressional Republicans to abandon his plan to grant federal drivers’ licenses to undocumented Americans. And he raised the stakes:
Sadly, many of our uncredentialed citizens from points south commit crimes with unregistered, untraceable firearms purchased on the black market when they arrive here.
To correct this problem, I’ve instructed the ATF to issue concealed carry permits and free handguns to immigrants who apply for a federal driver’s license immediately after entering America illegally.
In time, law enforcement agencies may access a detailed database of naturalized aliens and their vehicles, along with the make, model, serial numbers, and ballistic specifications of the firearms provided to them. Finding bad hombres with all this information will be a whole lot easier.
Spitzer credited Democratic strategist Smith Wesson for coming up with an ad campaign to sell the promotion. The simple message on billboards and TV throughout Mexico: “América —Conduzca uno, consiga pistola libre.” [America–Drive One, Get Gun Free.]
Selma on My Mind
May 15, 2011
Washington Post – In a telephone interview with the Post today, a Democratic source who requested anonymity said Reverend Jesse Jackson is advising House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi on staging a reprise of last year’s disappointingly peaceful march through the heart of a Tea Party rally outside Washington’s Capitol Building.
According to the source, Jackson urged Pelosi to employ aggressive-passive behavior this time around to provoke the Palinites:
Jesse called it a riff on Selma. Told Nancy to have SEIU operatives with fire hoses and dogs discreetly follow the procession. On her signal, they hose the Tea Partiers, sic the animals on ’em, and fall back. That cues Pelosi’s marchers to descend on the protestors, beat them with sticks, retreat and assemble, then wait meekly for retaliation while singing, “We Shall Overcome.”
Jackson warned the group, “When they come at you is when an NBC crew starts taping, so nobody fight back! You gotta be like Jackie Robinson and take it.”
To avoid a repeat of Emmanuel Cleaver II’s debunked “I was spat upon” story from the first march, Jackson told Cleaver, “I’ll plant a coarse Kos Kid in the Tea Party crowd. You start talkin’, he’ll start hawkin’. And when this guy spits, he hits. We’ll get it on tape and hold back until Breitbart makes another $100,000 offer for proof.
Pelosi was certain Tea Partiers would attempt to pervert the truth with cell phone video that recorded the actual events. House Whip Steny Hoyer said his contact in the Pentagon Signals Jamming Division assured him that “solar activity” would affect mobiles in the area the whole day, as well as Fox News satellite transmissions.
Concluding the interview, the source said Pelosi expressed concern the dogs might be hurt during the melee. “Nancy knows PETA would be furious with her if that happened. She told Hoyer to have vets on call in case a dog is injured or needs a shot after biting Palin or Hannity.”
Eisenhower Planning Bold Stroke
May 17, 1944
Los Angeles Times — Highly-placed officials confirm that General Dwight Eisenhower is preparing a massive invasion of Normandy sometime in early June.
“The idea is to make Hitler believe our forces will be coming ashore at Pas de Calais,” one person involved in the planning reports. “And we’re pushing the deception that nothing happens until July, at the earliest.”
Military and civilian leaders have expressed reservations about the operation. “I’m only speaking with you because it’s going to be very bloody if Ike goes ahead,” one senator privy to the plans said. “When the Germans read about this in the Times, they’ll look harder at Normandy, and Eisenhower would be foolish to launch. He’ll probably do so anyway, and what happens will be on his head.”