Aflockalypse edition. What is the government and media not telling you?
The most popular conspiracy theories, according to my inbox:
1. Birds ran into UFOs, fell to earth and smacked fish, killing them instantly.
2. Birds ran into UFOs, fish ran into UUOs (Unidentified Underwater Object), all powered by aliens, killing them instantly.
3. Someone got ahold of Nicholi Tesla’s coil, operated it, killed the birds and fish instantly.
4. Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, it’s Armageddon!
5. That missing Booosh aide, John Wheeler, was an expert in some freaky X-Files crap and was going to blow the whistle if the MIB went through with the testing. They did, killing the birds and fish instantly, and they killed him, too.
6. The hail was a sign from God and it pelted the birds out of the sky and the fish in the sea.
7. Manbearpig did it. And global warming. Killing the birds and fish instantly.
8. Bush did it. Somehow, Bush did it. (See also: #5)
9. Cheney actually hit his target this time.
10. Weather is often unpredictable and winds, magnetic pole shifts, or something a meteorologist can explain with more effort at interest did it. The “massive trauma” of “hitting an object” that these scientists keep talking about was the BIRDS HITTING THE GROUND.
Choose and answer; don’t see a choice that best represents what YOU think happened? Add it in the comments below.