Washington (AP) – In an interview last night on CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360 , White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs revealed that President Obama has taped an appearance for the season three premiere of Swamp Loggers, airing in early November. The Discovery Channel’s hit reality series follows a family-owned logging company plying their trade in all but inaccessible North Carolina wetlands.
Partial transcript follows:
COOPER: Swamp Loggers! Why?
GIBBS: Well, Andy, when his poll numbers started heading south, the president decided he needed to reconnect with the American people. He figured he wouldn’t find them at Camp David or tony compounds on Martha’s Vineyard and the Maine coast.
One day early this summer, he told me, “Bob, I just talked with John Kerry, and he said something that rocked me back on my heels. He said, “Mr. President, inside every demigod, every patrician, every politician, there’s a common man trying to get out.”
That’s when the President convened his advisors and announced he intended to spend more time with real Americans, like those women on The View. “I want to learn how ordinary folks live,” he said, “see through their eyes before my policies take hold and the American dream disappears. And I want a big heartland audience to watch me descend to earth.”
Rahm Emanuel’s a Discovery Channel fan. He suggested the president guest on one of the network’s top-rated reality shows, either Swamp Loggers or Deadliest Catch. President Obama had a tough time choosing, but in the end concluded the only relationship he wanted with large crustaceans was to have their legs on a plate in front of him, along with a cup of melted butter. So, Swamp Loggers made the, um, cut.
COOPER: Mr. Gibbs, the president has dodged the press pool once or twice for a few hours, but word is he was away for several days to tape the show, and no one knew. When did he do this?
GIBBS: The last week in June, Anderson, during the G8 summit. We asked Saturday Night Live‘s Fred Armisen to fill in for the president in Ontario. It all worked out fine, except when Fred got carried away and committed the U. S. to adopting the Euro in January. We hadn’t planned on implementing the switchover until spring, but we’ll adjust. Our money’s already being printed in funny colors, so nobody will notice the difference.
Anyway, President Obama was really excited about his appearance on Swamp Loggers–until Marine One deposited him at the All Terrain Logging, Inc. (ATL) work site on a spit of land in the middle of Possum Swamp in southeastern North Carolina. He was pretty upset at first.
COOPER: Why?
GIBBS: It was a snafu. Emanuel took full responsibility. Seems the president thought Rahm recommended “Swamp Bloggers” and assumed he’d appear on a backwoods talk show hosted by internet-savvy hayseeds with Instapundit aspirations.
COOPPER: Oh my. And the president’s reaction?
GIBBS: Actually, he was a good sport. Met with ATL chief Bobby Goodson and, initially, they hit it off. Goodson invited the president to take the co-pilot seat on a haul to the mill and also let him play with the controls of a grapple skidder. We took some great footage.
The president got an earful about the difficulty of logging in a foot of water. He promised Goodson that when he got back to Washington, he’d ask Speaker Pelosi to come down to North Carolina and drain the swamp. Later, though, things went south.
COOPER: What happened?
GIBBS: They started talking politics. The president asked if Goodson thought Palin was presidential timber. Goodson said, “Damn straight she is!” The president burst out laughing; said if he faced her in 2012, he’d go through her like a Husqvarna365 through yellow pine.
Then Goodson got in the president’s face and said, “Laugh while you can, ’cause your Dem field, including some of the old growth, is facing a clearcutting in November.” Well, that was that. Marine One flew us out an hour later. The president was furious. Ordered OSHA to cite ATL for allowing him on site without a hardhat.
COOPER: Then the experience was a bust. Won’t the president look bad when the episode airs?
GIBBS: It’s the Discovery Channel. Who watches that?
COOPER: Gotcha. What’s up next for the president and reality TV?
GIBBS: New TV series premieres in January: Bad Boys on Wall Street. In the first episode, the President rides along with a couple of federal marshals when they bust some hedge fund freaks. Talk it up, Andy baby.