Government As Standup Comedy II: Eric Holder On 'Face the Nation'

So CBS shows up and does Face The Nation from the Aspen Ideas Festival. Great idea. Perfect chance to talk to Eric Holder about the whistleblower who this week said Holder refused to prosecute a New Black Panther member because of his race.

I guess Bob Schieffer didn’t have time to ask that question. The media normally loves racially charged stories, but in this case, they must not have had time in the half-hour show, or perhaps CBS didn’t want to do the story, or perhaps CBS doesn’t even know about the story. Like the rest of the LAMBS in the old media they have had a hard time doing anything that might be negative towards the Obama Administration.

Holder did get a few laughs during the show, which was taped in front of a live audience. He didn’t want the laughs, did not intend to get the laughs—but the crowd thought he was funny.

When he danced around the British Petroleum lawsuit question the crowd roared in laughter. Schieffer thought it was an “unusual” thing that the Obama Administration seemed more interested in filing suit against BP to further harm the company, instead of presumably focusing on stopping the leak. Holder said he filed the suit, but “did not say who the subject of the investigation was.” (Insert laugh track here.) Calm down Holder, you’re cracking us up out here!

Then—they jumped into the Khalid Sheikh Mohammed trial. The laughs just keep on coming when they talked about the terrorist who planned the 9-11 attacks. Schieffer wanted to know why it has taken so long to get this trial going (insert laugh track here.) Holder hem-hawed his way through a convoluted answer full of excuses and half-truths. To his credit, Schieffer asked Holder why he has said he prefers a civilian trial to a military trial. Holder praised civilian trials for their effectiveness.

That one cracked me up. The crowd didn’t laugh, but I was roaring over that one. Civilian trials? Effective? Have you heard the one about the former football player who walks into a bar with one glove and a cut on his hand? Stop, you’re killin’ me!

The answer about closing Guantanamo Bay is also hilarious. Didn’t Obama tell us Gitmo would be closed in a year? I think he did. That was 18 months ago. To that Schieffer took some blame that the media didn’t ask the right questions during the campaign. Thanks Bob, no duh. Remember, Tina Fey was anchoring the evening news during the 2008 campaign. Funny stuff right there.

Holder has no chance of hitting the “stand-up” circuit any time soon. He wasn’t even trying to be funny. Nothing at all funny about the fact that Holder (who asked for an “open and honest discussion on race”) and the activist old media have ignored the story of J. Christian Adams from the Department of Justice who has charged Holder with failing to prosecute somebody who was trying to intimidate voters in 2008 at a polling booth.

Maybe this week CBS and the others will be dragged kicking and screaming into the story. Maybe not, just a joke there. Gotta find out what design Lindsay Lohan will get on her fingernails before she heads to the slammer.