'Members of our News Contributors Team are Black'

Are you a progressive network or newspaper that has sought to portray the Tea Party Movement as racist with selective video editing, and now you have those same Tea Party Members pointing out the lack of diversity at your network or paper?

Well fear not. Progressives Hosts and Writers, the same people who brought you the slogan, “some of my best friends are Black,” are pleased to announce our latest business venture named “Members of our News Contributors Team are Black.”

Yes that right if you are your network’s or newspaper’s Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow, Chris Matthews, Dana Milbank or Frank Rich,, you no longer secretly have to feel like a hypocrite when leveling charges of racism against conservatives while hiding the lack of diversity at your employer’s when you shop at “Members of our News Contributors Team are Black.”

Just in time for 2010 and the mid-term elections, we have stocked the best quality Black Progressive Shills to be on your personal news contributor team. Just think of your comfort level during your media parties with Progressive politicians as you rattle off the list of Black Contributors that we have provided for you as you rip into Rush, Hannity, Beck and others with pride.

We have stocked a whole range of quality Blacks of various stereotypes:

• Progressive/Liberal
• Socialist, Communist
• Victim
• “Stepin Fetchit”

• Hip-Hopper
• Rapping Reverend

We are also pleased to announce we now have Presidential, White House Spinmeister/Spokesperson and Congressional Black models in. That’s right — in-stock and out-the-door at a moment’s notice, just when you need to get that extra edge in perceived racial diversity among your elite circles! We are more than willing to help.

When you buy from us, you now can feel free to smear any opposition to President Obama’s radical agenda as “racist.” No more need to edit out minority Tea Party Members. Lack the audio of Congressional Black Caucus Members under perceived racial attack by Tea Party protesters? Fear not, Progressive Hosts and Writers — our products will give any of your deceptive, mendacious stories real legitimacy among Progressive Thinkers.

While others in Washington D.C. only talk the talk of job creation, we are prepared to walk the walk by putting a segment of America back to work in this era of the Nanny State. We will not limit ourselves to just the Black Community; we are prepared to expand our services to provide shills of all races, creeds and colors as you need them.

Now I know what you are thinking and, no, I’m not crazy. I mean, if Americans can elect a socialist president, whose policies have us sliding towards bankruptcy, and then have Progressives claim that any opposition to his policies is racist, then I think I could make this work.

As Don King likes say, “Only in America.”