REDMOND: There Will be Golf

The 123^rd U.S. Open begins today, and the venue is the star of the show. The venerated Los Angeles Country Club (LACC) is the site of this year’s golf championship. The course was established in 1911 and designed by George Thomas.

It’s a private club and very exclusive.

LA resident Groucho Marx once said he wouldn’t want to belong to any club that would allow him to be a member. Well, LACC took him at his word and turned down his membership numerous times. In fact, they don’t want anyone working in Hollywood to be a member there. No actors, producers, or directors. Not even grips…even key grips. How great is that? Probably the first time these stars have heard the word “no” in years. One of the infamous Groucho stories was that on a very hot day, while playing golf at a nearby club, he took off his shirt and was told it was against course rules. He then put his shirt back on but took off his pants and asked to see the club rules when called out—funny story but a little bit psychotic. You’re a grown man, not a toddler– keep your pants on, weirdo. You…can’t be a member here. It is quite amusing that LACC is located in the center of LA but doesn’t allow anyone that works in entertainment to become a member. It would be akin to the Chicago Knights of Columbus chapter not allowing any Polacks.

Who are the members of LACC? Not sure, but I would guess they all made their money in oil or hydropower—possibly silver mines. Like Noah Cross in the movie Chinatown or Daniel Plainview in There Will Be Blood. When they weren’t plotting and scheming, they needed a place to relax. And hence, the club was born.

LACC makes it seem as if they are doing the country a huge favor by allowing the national championship to be played on its course. And they are because the course is spectacular and located right in the heart of LA next to Beverly Hills. They have never hosted a major championship before and never wanted to, as it can be a hassle for the members. Surprisingly, they are due to host The U.S. Open again in the Year 2039. That’s certainly optimistic to think Los Angeles will be able to host major championship golf in 2039. Have they seen the streets of LA today? It’s an open-air asylum. In 2039, who will protect the golfers from the cannibal armies? Maybe the board at LACC just threw out that year, knowing it would never come to fruition. “Sure, you can play here in 2039. 2040 too, no problem.” They’ll all be in New Zealand (sidenote, New Zealand is where all the uber-rich are building their apocalypse compounds….don’t tell anyone, though).

It will be a lot of fun to watch as the weather will be gorgeous and the scenery amazing. Plus, they are three hours behind, so it will be golf in prime time on the east coast. NBC will broadcast until 11 pm, so if golf puts you to sleep, it will work out well for you.

Who are the contenders for what should be a phenomenal championship?

Brooks Koepka- he should be a favorite in any major for the next three years at least—very tough competitor who is comfortable when under pressure. I still don’t like him very much. I don’t like the cut of his jib, and I’ll leave it at that.

Patrick Cantlay- he’s played here the most of any competitors. That should help him because he’ll know where to park, where the locker rooms are, etc.

Martin Kaymer- I only put his name down because you can bet him at 2000-1 to win. So you could throw $500 on him and become a millionaire. And the best part is not only do they give you a million dollars, but they give you your original bet back as well. So you would win 1,000,5000. Gambling- is there any downside? In all seriousness, he has won 2 majors, including a U.S. Open in the last decade. He’s not playing well, but he could get hot and would not wilt under pressure because he’s done it before.

Jon Rahm- Not many in golf media have spoken about how close he was to signing with LIV. That may have been a catalyst for the merger and seems to me a very weaselly move by Rahm. It was reported by Matt Adams of the Golf Channel and was never refuted. This makes sense as he has a close relationship with Phil Mickelson and Sergio Garcia. Bad karma- will not win.

Cam Smith- the only likable LIV player, has been flying under the radar for the past few months. He’s playing well and, with his putting ability, could make the necessary clutch 8-footers for par needed to win this tournament.

Rory McIlroy- what a story this would be. A guy who mostly kept his integrity with this whole LIV/PGA partnership, winning the next major.

The LIV/PGA merger had to happen because LIV, with unlimited Saudi oil money, would have taken 3-4 players every year from the PGA (including some young, up-and-coming talent). It would have slowly just made the PGA Tour a much worse product overall. Commissioner Jay Monaghan had to take his medicine, and I think he did a good job getting the deal done. Jimmy Dunne, the PGA insider, and guy who pulled the strings, is a smart, successful guy who knew the best way forward for the game of golf. Don’t listen to any golf media that says otherwise. It’s constant virtue signaling in mainstream sports media. I will say it’s interesting that Donald Trump was such a big supporter of LIV but also claims to be anti-globalization. How does he square that circle? LIV is a greed-driven league and a blight on the game of golf. If the PGA Tour had to merge with them to destroy it,  then it was a hard choice that had to be made. Let us never speak of it again. Thy will be done. Amen.

Dan Redmond can be found on Twitter @danfromdc