Easily staving off any challenges that arose, Scottie Scheffler ascended to number one in the world and, more importantly, walked away with The Players Championship yesterday at TPC Sawgrass outside of Jacksonville, FL.

It’s easy to win in golf if you hit it perfectly every time, and that’s about what Scottie did over the weekend. Scheffler put on a ball-striking clinic, and when his putter got hot on Saturday, he pulled away from the field and won going away. Scheffler will be the favorite to win the Masters and should stay at or near the top for a very long time. How long? Well, his 87-year-old grandmother Mary walked every hole with him, so he has vitality and stamina in his genes. Scheffler finished at 17 under for the tournament, five ahead of Englishman Tyrell Hatton, who mounted the only challenge by shooting 29 on the back nine and finishing with five birdies in a row.

Scottie Scheffler plays his shot from the 18th tee during the final round of THE PLAYERS Championship at Stadium Course at TPC Sawgrass on March 12, 2023, in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida. (James Gilbert/PGA TOUR via Getty Images)

The scene at the Players was a nice mix of Southern cocktail party, amusement park, and retirement picnic. Having walked the course for four days, here are some observations:

Lots of women have lots of tattoos. Not just one tattoo of a rose or a kitten on their ankle. We are talking sleeves of black tattoos covering their entire arm or leg. I’m not sure if these women realize that tattoos are permanent. Fortunately, I did not see any face tattoos. Those people should be arrested on the spot.

The 17th hole island green is one of the most fun spectacles in the sport. Many a golfer has come to the 17th with a chance to win only to see his/her/they/them/it/cis/Ze/Two-Spirit hopes splashed in the pond surrounding the green. Ask Sergio Garcia back in 2008. Go ahead, ask him! Have you asked him? Well, he’d tell you that he hit two balls into the pond and gave his nemesis Tiger Woods the championship. The pressure is immense, and as the crowd drinks more during the day, they become less sympathetic to the struggling golfer. Sergio got it so bad fans used to yell, “go in the water!” when he would putt after making it onto the 17th green. Ricky Fowler, however, birdied the hole three times back in 2015 to win in a playoff which is one of the most clutch moments in golf history. Fowler was five strokes back with 6 to play and finished birdie, par, birdie, eagle, birdie, birdie to force a playoff that he won by birdieing the 17th hole for the 3rd time that day. Amazing. Don’t ever let anyone tell Rickie chokes. He’s just not that good. He doesn’t choke, though. Big difference.

Rickie Fowler of the United States prepares to play his shot from the third tee during the final round of THE PLAYERS Championship on THE PLAYERS Stadium Course at TPC Sawgrass on March 12, 2023, in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida. (Richard Heathcote/Getty Images)

Talking to the volunteers who walk the course with the players, the chief complaint is how long they take—standing over a putt for 50 seconds. Waiting an eternity for the wind to die down, etc. I watched Francesco Molinari take 4 minutes to hit his tee shot on the 17th hole. Then the next guy took 2 minutes. Is it time for a shot clock in golf?

If you’re going to go to a golf tournament and not drink, you may be in for a long day. I saw countless couples at the tournament just sitting there for hours upon hours. Not really talking to one another, just watching the golf shots. I guess it could be considered relaxing. It could also be considered boring. I’ve always felt fishing was boring, but some people love it. But people also drink when they fish. May need to be researched at a University level.

Tiger was not here this week, but fans were talking about his former girlfriend, Erica Herman, and her appeal that the non-disclosure agreement they had should not be enforced. Basically, she wants to be able to disclose unsavory items regarding their relationship. Tiger sure knows how to pick ‘em! Couldn’t

He just give this gal 20 million and told her to go away? On the other hand, what if he did give her 20 million, and she wants more? Tiger and his proclivities always make things interesting. Not only the greatest golfer ever but the most sordid personal life ever. Thank you, Tiger!

The Genesis Invitational host, Tiger Woods of the United States, presents the trophy to Jon Rahm of Spain after putting in to win The Genesis Invitational at Riviera Country Club on the 18th green on February 19, 2023, in Pacific Palisades, California. (Michael Owens/Getty Images)

Australian Cameron Smith won The Players last year but was not invited back because he left for the renegade LIV golf tour. Kind of a bummer he wasn’t able to defend his title. Cam has the honor of being the one likable guy who went to LIV. The last three winners have been top-notch players, with Rory winning in 2019, Justin Thomas in 2021 and Cam Smith in 2022, and Scheffler this year. In 2020 they canceled the tournament due to the pandemic. They ended up giving the championship to Dr. Fauci! How sick is that???

To the fans, eternal credit, not once with the many great shots that Scheffler hit over the course of 4 days did any fan ever yell out, “Nice Shottie Scottie!” That was my biggest fear, and it went unrealized. Thank you, Jacksonville.

Dan Redmond recently had his Twitter account reinstated and can be found @danfromdc. To get restored, he had to write an apology letter to Yoel Roth and has to tithe 10% of his salary to the SPLC in perpretuity.