The eyes of the sporting world turn their gaze to Oklahoma as the best golfers in the world compete for the Wannamaker Trophy at Southern Hills Country Club.
Wait, let me stop right there.
Could there be a more problematic set of words than Southern Hills Country Club? It’s a country club, so it’s exclusive and likely not gender-affirming by designation. I know when I hear Southern, I immediately think of Stonewall Jackson and his wild band of Confederates trying to sack Washington DC. The Civil War was an insurrection almost on par with January 6th. So that’s not good. And isn’t Florida in the South? Didn’t DeSantis try and kill Mickey Mouse? Then there’s “Hills.” When I hear hills, I think of hill people, and they can be a tad clannish.
Being in a clan is almost as bad as being in the Klan. Taking a look at who has won at Southern Hills brings no consolation either- it’s all white men and one Cablinasian. The PGA of America should give more consideration to where they stage big events. Maybe look to more peaceful, liberal enclaves like Portland, Chicago, or Baltimore.
Putting aside my fake distaste for the venue, let’s look at some of the week’s storylines and see who can win this thing.
Tiger is back and looks good. He is in a Supergroup on Thursday morning, including Rory McIlroy and Jordan Spieth. Expect large groups of idiots to be following these guys. Having been to many golf tournaments with Tiger, you’re better off being as far as possible from him. If you follow the group, you will see maybe 30 shots the whole round. It’s a total nightmare—throngs of people scurrying for spots with temps in the nineties- no thanks. If Tulsa gets a little rain and becomes muddy and humid, these people will be in a literal hell on earth. Also, Tiger’s fans aren’t real golf fans because they only know Tiger, so it’s a weird vibe. Best to sit at a hole and watch them come to you, or better yet, watch another group…or better yet, don’t even go.
Tiger Woods (Kevin Dietsch/UPI Photo)
Sit at home in your air-conditioned hovel and watch every important shot from your recliner. The dirty little secret about championship golf is that if you are really interested in seeing it, the worst place to be is on the course. People like to go to golf tournaments so they can tell people they went to a golf tournament. No sober person ever enjoyed a golf tournament. My advice- stay away from this group. Stay away from this tournament. And for God’s sake, stay away from Oklahoma. Also, Supergroups tend to be disappointments. Asia and Toto come to mind, although Rosana is a great song.
Jordan Spieth has a good shot at the career grand slam. He’s playing with confidence, and few golfers love the spotlight more than Spieth. He is the trendy pick to win for good reason. I don’t much like him, though, for reasons I can’t pinpoint. He’s well-mannered, forthright, competitive, diligent, and composed. Jordan Spieth is Everbody’s All American, and I want him to fail miserably. What kind of a person roots against Jordan Spieth? Not a very good one.
Phil Mickelson is not going to repeat as PGA Champion. He has withdrawn due to controversy over his comments around the proposed Saudi Golf league. I can’t remember his comments, but they didn’t seem too bad. Something about Saudi Arabia being too hot, maybe??? Phil is the perfect example of a guy who was a bit off-putting and arrogant but has been redeemed through being an object of scorn by our hostile media. Since Phil has made an enemy of the enemy of the people, shouldn’t that make him more popular ipso facto? I know I like him more. It’s a shame he’s not defending his title. My guess is that Phil will emerge like Sherman McCoy in Bonfire of the Vanities…he will lose everything but come back with a renewed, stronger spirit. Isn’t that how Bonfire ends? It’s been a long time.
Phil Mickelson (Oisin Kiniry/Getty Images)
In my Masters preview earlier this year, I said Scottie Scheffler was the “flavor of the month with no chance to win.” In any other profession, I’d lose credentials and be booted to the curb, but alas, here I am—the absolute shocking state of journalism in this country. I’m now picking him to win back-to-back majors as penance. He’s world no. 1 and has played well in the past at Southern Hills. I expect Sunday will be very exciting with Spieth, McIlroy, Cam Smith, and Jon Rahm all with a chance to win, but Scheffler gets it done.
Enjoy the tournament. Hope you’re not there.
Dan Redmond can be reached at Breitbart.golf@gmail.com. He was wrongly kicked off Twitter and is appealing to Elon Musk for a stay of execution.
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