Banned in Boston Bobbleheads! Red Sox Pull ‘Insensitive’ David Ortiz Promotional Giveaway

The Boston Red Sox withdrew bobbleheads of their most popular player that ownership deemed “insensitive” prior to Tuesday night’s game.

A David Ortiz figurine sporting Sloth’s teeth from Goonies, Al Jolson’s lips from The Jazz Singer , and J.J.’s physique from Good Times got pulled for a pinch bobblehead that the team intends to unveil at a later date. The manufacturer strangely got right the one thing they might expect to get wrong: they put Mini Papi in a home jersey with “Boston” on the front to match the unique uniforms the Red Sox wore in their dramatic return to Fenway after the Patriots’ Day attacks in 2013.

“It was an inaccurate portrayal of David,” Red Sox President Sam Kennedy held. “It doesn’t really look like David. No. 2, I personally thought it seemed to be an offensive portrayal of him and the facial features were racially insensitive. If I was feeling this way, certainly other people would. So we pulled the plug.”

“That’s supposed to be me?” Ortiz said after looking at his unlikely likeness. The Boston Globe explained that he followed up the interrogative with interjections that included “unprintable language.”

The team plans to mail the new bobbleheads to all ticketed fans. The manufacturer produced two versions of Ortiz. The team vetoed both. The image of Ortiz as a bobblehead shared on social media depicts him holding a microphone in homage to the designated hitter’s famous speech after the Boston Marathon Bombings, an address that also included “unprintable language.”

“The Boston Red Sox have cancelled tonight’s bobblehead giveaway,” the team informed on social media. “The bobbleheads were unacceptable to the club and inappropriate for distribution. We will be issuing new David Ortiz bobbleheads to all ticketed fans at a later date.”

Big Papi went one-for-three with an RBI in a 5-3 win over the Yankees at Fenway Park Tuesday night. Despite calling it a career after this year, the three-time World Series champion enjoys an outstanding season, hitting .309, driving home 88 runners, and blasting 25 homers with 51 games remaining.

The seized Ortiz joins H.L. Mencken’s American Mercury, Anne Hutchinson, Francois Rabelais’s Adventures of Pantagruel and Gargantua, the Old Howard Theatre, an executed quartet of Quakers, Chik-fil-A, and witches and sorcerers of all sorts on the long list of venues, people, literature, and much else banned in Boston.