Orioles Ban Pie-in-the-Face for ‘Safety Reasons,’ So Adam Jones Uses Cake

The Baltimore Orioles no-funniks banned pie-in-the-face celebrations for “safety reasons” prior to this season. Adam Jones took exactly one game to flout the new rules.

Matt Wieters smashed a game-winning single. Then Adam Jones smashed a postgame pie in the catcher’s face.

Or was it a cake?

“I plead the fifth,” Jones told the Baltimore Sun. “I plead the fifth. That’s a valid answer.”

The 3-2 victory over the Minnesota Twins brought sunshine to Baltimore after sunset following a lengthy rain delay. The Orioles trail the 2-0 Blue Jays in the American League East by a half game. The Twins, who last won on Opening Day in 2008, sit alone in last place in the AL Central.

Like all good straight men, the Orioles took a we-are-serious-this-time approach to the pie ban before the season.

Like so many athletes, Jones found a creative way around the killjoy rules.

“I’ve lost control of the team again,” joked Orioles manager Buck Showalter after Jones reenacted a The Three Stooges skit on the field of Camden Yards. “Pick the battles worth winning, right? It had some kind of orange look to it. It looked very cakey to me.”