PETA to Redskins: Keep Name, Change Mascot to Potato

PETA would like the Redskins to keep their nickname and instead change their mascot to a red potato. 

Seriously. 

“Don’t change the legendary Redskins name. Just change the logo,” PETA writes. “By keeping the name and adopting a heart-healthy, appeeling logo, the Washington Redskins would set a powerful example on and off the field. And that’s no small potatoes.”

PETA continues with its “ingenious” and “healthy” suggestion:

When you hear the word “redskin,” what do you immediately think of? Potatoes, of course! And who could be offended by a harmless redskin potato–except, maybe, for the Yukon Gold lobby (and if Alaska had a football team, rest assured that we’d be the first to suggest the Yukon Gold Diggers as a franchise name).

The redskin potato would be a noble mascot for a variety of reasons. Potatoes are also native Americans, having been cultivated in Peru for millennia. A tasty, versatile, animal- and environmentally friendly vegan staple, potatoes are now the most popular vegetable in the U.S. They are loaded with nutrients, including iron, potassium, vitamin C, fiber, and even protein, and red potatoes in particular are high in antioxidants. (Take that, Cheeseheads.)