Hello, faggots! Welcome to the Dangerous Faggot Tour! My name is Milo Yiannopoulos, the supervillain of the Internet and the aforementioned dangerous faggot.
In fact I’m considered so dangerous that today, January 20th, I am the second most dangerous man in America. Second only to Daddy, who has taken office today. That’s right, social justice losers! Donald Trump is your president now and there’s nothing you can do about it.
To be honest, I’m shocked the University of Washington’s sports teams are called the Huskies. Why haven’t the leftists that run this entire state demanded they be renamed the “Athletes of Size” so as to not fat shame anyone? For our international viewers, “husky” is a euphemism for hamplanet — you know, the sort of people who wear fumigation tents as prom dresses.
Did you guys see those horrible posters hung up around your campus? I have absolutely no idea who’s responsible! I was told this is such a liberal campus I ought to have bolted the signs down with metal. I mean they should have bolted the signs on with metal.
You’re all familiar with a protest movement that started up calling itself Disrupt J20. What you might not have realized is they are a meritocracy. All of the really good commie sleazebags got trips to Washington DC to try to cause problems at the inauguration.
All of the losers were left back here in Seattle.
Why are Washington and Oregon the home turf of every violent left-wing radical? It seems to be a never ending cycle of radical lefties burning down Starbucks and moderate lefties upset they can’t get their lattes.
They are also threatening to walk out on their jobs and classes as well. You kinda have to be fucking employed for that to work in the first place. And as for school, I’m sure psych professors nationwide won’t mind a day without fat dykes interrupting their lectures.
These Disrupt J20 goobers have even gone so far as to threaten me!
My speeches are so dangerous to student’s ears that Disrupt J20 hung up a banner here on campus that says “Stab Milo, All Out J20”.
You know if you are truly upset, I have just the solution for you!
This type of reaction from the left has opened the eyes of the normies at home more than anything else besides my handsome features, amazing hair, and personal style. The most deafening redpill is a sexually-ambiguous super retard turbo-lez screaming strange threats into your face with a megaphone.
I am constantly accused of hate speech, spreading dangerous truths, and using violent words — as though there could be such a thing as “violent words.” These distortions of language are invented by university professors and propagated by people like that nice young man Rachel Maddow on the TV.
But it’s the left wing radicals who openly call for my death! They’ll get a free pass on it too, because these J20 retards are just reciting what their loony professors taught them. It’s our duty now to BREAK THE CONDITIONING!
In the United Kingdom a government anti-extremism task force stopped me from speaking at the high school I attended because title was “FEMINISM’S THREAT TO FREE SPEECH”, and not “MUSLIMS ROCK!”.
They’d never stop a Muslim, because that might be racist (or he might explode), but they stopped me. In the light of direct threats on my life, the response to my tour from academia, journalists, and even the government is silence.
Newsflash for the radical left: You will never stop me. You cannot stop my relentless pursuit of free speech on campus for all students, not just those that support radical left-wing orthodoxy.
You may resist us violently, but you will lose. You will convince millions of onlookers, including liberals who aren’t afraid to speak the truth, to rise up against you. All you will have to show for your efforts is some time in a jail cell.
OK, some prison time is a fantasy of mine, but you all get my point.
Who made these slides? I’m not John Podesta!
Speaking of gays, who in here is gay?
NOT ANYMORE!
There are some other fun events going on in Seattle this week related to the inauguration. This afternoon, students from Seattle Central College staged a walkout. Have you ever noticed the students that MOST need to keep their noses in the books are the most eager to walk out of class? I see a connection there, it’s always liberals of course. Purely coincidental!
Tomorrow there is a women’s march, like the one in Washington DC. I support women marching. As the fat acceptance movement’s most prominent critic, I’m well aware of how “body positivity” has resulted in an increase in the number of obese women in America. Anything that involves a bit of exercise for our sisters and moms is alright by me!
But I hope they bring some men along to keep them on course. I don’t mean to be rude, but it’s well established in the research literature that men have far better spacial awareness and sense of direction than girls.
Can you imagine 50,000 hairy, overweight feminists wandering, hopelessly lost around downtown Seattle, like a drunk Sasquatch convention?
Have you noticed these armpit hair-braiding west coast femsquatches spell “women” with an X? W-O-M-X-N. Is the X silent? How do you pronounce that? It’s like “LATIN-X”.
Is it Lat-tinks? Sounds like a new paraplegic cholo X-Men character who was shocked he didn’t have to be jumped into the group. Too bad that after today’s inauguration, he has to go back!
I always there was feminist biology and feminist history, I didn’t know we had feminist spelling! This is what always happens ladies and gentlemen, a women’s march becomes instead a chance, quote, “to acknowledge the impact of discrimination based not only on gender but also race, sexual orientation, nationality, faith, class, disability and body odor.”
Why can’t it just be a women’s march? The same thing has happened in Washington DC, where the women’s march has become a mess of identity politics with black women lecturing their white comrades and every other identity jockeying for power in the left’s grotesque minority war Hunger Games.
Or, in case of feminists, Hungry Games.
My theory is that women simply can’t get along with each other or work well together. Call it intrasexual competition or whatever, but the results are obvious. I’ll quote my favorite twentieth-century philosophy, Al Bundy: “Don’t try to understand women, women understand women, and they hate each other.”
Or, in other words, girls are retards.
Now before we get to the main event, it’s time for a commercial. I speak for free at campuses, but it is still a capitalist world and what do you know, finally I have something to sell that isn’t my ass.
I’m just kidding. My ass is free. Well, I had to make it free, because Obama stopped me from swiping EBT.
One thing that’s not free is my new book, DANGEROUS.
I wrote a book! Did you know it reached the #1 Best Seller on Amazon within a day of announcement. DANGEROUS by MILO YIANNOPOULOS is available for preorder wherever books are sold.
Our main topic for this evening is one of grave concern to America right now. The government and even the United Nations are taking great pains to fight it, and psychologists stay up all night long wondering how to protect children from it.
No, it isn’t radical Islam or Marxist-Feminism, it’s cyberbullying.
I’ve got news for you everyone, as you may have seen from the posters around your campus: Tyler the creator is correct. Cyberbullying isn’t real.
The National Crime Prevention Council defines cyberbullying as “the process of using the Internet, cell phones or other devices to send or post text or images intended to hurt or embarrass another person.”
I personally define it as “the next best thing to a good wank.”
Of course that quote from the Council describes practically everything posted on the Internet doesn’t it? I’ve included that definition because it is important to understand just what we are up against. An establishment who wishes to define anything they don’t like as cyberbullying.
Cyberbullying being treated as an epidemic in America is an extension of the problems we face on College campuses. I’d like to point out some of the major dimensions of this phenomenon.
The millennial generation has been trained by helicopter parents and teachers who put feelings above everything else to be fragile. We have taught children to turn the smallest of incidents into vast emotional meltdowns.
Why do we turn every event into a worst case scenario? Is it because it earns us a larger response and more sympathy from both online and offline communities?
Consider the microaggression. It is a relatively recent creation on campus, one that essentially takes a magnifying glass to the most minor of annoyances in order to make it seem colossal. Isn’t that the same thing as taking unkind words on the Internet and making a crying response video?
Somehow we transformed our culture from being based on free speech, to one full of thin-skinned babies whose feelings must be protected both on campus and on the Internet. Just think. When George Bush Snr ran for President, they called him a wimp! George H.W. Bush was a fighter pilot and head of the CIA.
What will happen when we have the first presidential campaign featuring a genderqueer furry who has videos of himself crying on YouTube because someone insulted his My Little Pony drawings?
If this keeps up, your future Commander-in-Chief may have a history of sexually abusing zir-self to gay Harry Potter fan-fiction.
Being a victim is big business. The left has turned it into a badge of honor, and something used to consolidate money and power. The social justice warrior elements of the gaming world turned victimization into a cottage industry during GamerGate. One of them, Brianna Wu, is now running for congress.
It’s 2017 and yet another white male is running for public office! Kind of looks like someone gave John Cleese a wig and $50 to spend at JCPenney. Whoever performed that gender reassignment should be deported.
Truthfully, I hope Brianna is elected. I want the opposition to Donald Trump in Congress to be filled with shrill and incompetent liberals with deep-seated psychiatric problems. At least they will be accurately representing their voters.
On campus, I also see evidence of students eager to proclaim themselves victims. Whether it is the patriarchy, the government, the white race, or more often all three, students actively seek out opportunities to cry about how terrible their life is.
Of course, when they can’t find ways to be a victim, they fake it!
Kayla Simon-McKelvey, a graduate of Kean University, is charged with leaving a rally against racism so she could tweet threats to black students from a fake account. She then returned to the rally to spread the word of the terrible racists threatening the students.
At University of Wyoming, Meg Lanker-Simons posted sexual comments and threats about herself, and then went on a crusade against her own posts. She came to the same conclusion that Rolling Stone did… if you can’t find rape culture on campus, make it up!
Incidentally, this is Meg.
And this is what Meg posted … about herself.
“I want to hatefuck Meg Lanker — so hard. That chick that runs her liberal mouth all the time and doesn’t care who knows it. I think its [sic] hot and it makes me angry. One night with me and she’s gonna be a good Republican bitch.”
Literally nobody writes like this.
Meg, I feel comfortable telling you, from my perch as a leading Republican bitch, that NOBODY wants to hatefuck you, and especially not those pursed lips. You’re trying too hard, especially for a fat girl. Please stop. I doubt you’d even find a date in Harlem.
Stick to the beta white knights who are actually stalkers and rapists and you’ll have better luck.
Both of these women cyberbullied themselves, assuming of course that we accept cyberbullying is a real thing. And assuming we accept that even the most desperate bottom-feeder from the fetid depths of slash b would take time out of their days from masturbating to hentai tentacle trap porn to give these toads a second look.
Just as we’ve turned into a thin-skinned culture, we’ve turned into one in which victims are held in ludicrously unjustified esteem. So some people — liberals — become victims by any means necessary.
Not long ago, 18-year-olds were being sent off to kill the Vietcong in the jungles. Now they don’t even have the chutzpah to kill themselves after a good online roasting.
Liberals love to couch things in vague terms. The reason? It’s much easier to be repressive and authoritarian when you don’t have to say exactly what you mean.
Take for example the ubiquitous movements against hate speech. Well the problem with hate speech is that it can mean ANYTHING. In practice, hate speech is anything liberals don’t agree with. Remember, I’m hate speech according to professors and campus crybabies.
When universities are more specific, they always face pushback. At Washington State University, where I was supposed to speak yesterday if all the roads hadn’t been shut down, a gender studies professor named Selena Lester Breikss had the balls to say exactly what she meant by hate speech.
““Gross generalizations, stereotypes and derogatory/oppressive language are not acceptable. Use of racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, classist or generally offensive language in class or submission of such material will not be tolerated. (This includes ‘The Man,’ ‘Colored People,’ ‘Illegals/Illegal Aliens,’ ‘Tranny’ and so on — or referring to women/men as females or males.) If I see it or hear it, I will correct it in class since it can be a learning moment for many students. Repeated use of oppressive and hateful language will be handled accordingly — including but not limited to removal from the class without attendance or participation points, failure of the assignment, and — in extreme cases — failure for the semester.””
Things like calling a man a man and a woman a woman. Using such terrible hate speech in her class might earn you an F!
Of course when it was clearly spelled out, the President of the school thankfully moved to protect the first amendment on campus. Most professors already understood keeping language vague is the way to go. And so is broadening the definition of offenses so you can accuse anyone, any time — exactly what’s happened to the word “rape” on campus.
Cyberbullying is the same. EVERYTHING is called cyberbullying these days. You might be accused of cyberbullying by replying to a tweet with facts. A different person may claim cyberbullying if you Retweet them without permission!
The desire to be a victim and make mountains out of molehills drives young people to claim cyberbullying, and the way they can claim it is because cyberbullying is anything you say it is. A bit like your gender at many of the best universities.
Once something is labeled hate speech or cyberbullying, in the eyes of the authoritarian left it should be shut down. Or your Twitter account should be taken away!
Free speech is not a concept compatible with the fragile victimhood culture of the left. And nor are any of the other precious forms of free expression so critical to artists, comedians, writers and journalists, such as criticism, satire, mockery and mischief.
I will point out my favorite thing about the vague language of the left is that they never apply it to themselves. Leftists love to cyberbully, like good old Leslie Jones.
Here she is with what can only be described as targeted harassment. “Get her!” That’s schoolyard bullying at its finest.
Here’s another one.
Ending a message with “kill yourself.” She would fit right in on 4chan.
And here’s one of my favorites.
Leslie loves to say she was hacked when she is busted dishing out the sort of robust criticism that has her running for help from Jack Dorsey.
Those Leslie Jones tweets aren’t cyberbullying because cyberbullying isn’t real. However it clearly shows the hypocrisy of the left crying cyberbullying when their own heroes and martyrs lead the charge with bad behavior.
Naturally, the instinct of the left is to run to the government to fix things. When you want a nanny state, first you need babies in need of care.
Unless of course you are a Democrat supporter of Planned Parenthood, in which case you’ve already killed them all. If there are any women in the audience who have had abortions, I apologize for offending you.
If it helps, my roasts are nothing compared to being plunged headfirst into a lake of fire in hell, which is what awaits you after your inevitable cat-assisted suicide in lonely middle-age, but that’s a topic for another day and really none of my business.
We shouldn’t want the government having anything to do with our speech, let alone deciding what cyberbullying is. I find it mind-boggling that this statement could be controversial even on the left. Reminder lefties, Donald Trump was just elected president! You don’t want him targeting your speech do you?
Frankly, the government is incompetent in this area. The Fort Lauderdale Airport shooter walked into an FBI office and told them he was with ISIS, but they let him walk right out. As internet sleuths discovered within the first hour, while the blood of innocents still glistened on that Floridian baggage carousel, he had been posting on radical Islamic propaganda forums half a decade previously.
Maybe if the FBI and CIA spent less time trying to interfere with Trump’s inauguration and a bit more monitoring domestic terror, I don’t know…
I mean, seriously? You’re telling me we should have agents searching for people who tweet pictures of Harambe to Leslie Jones instead of searching for the next shooter?
How many months did it take them to find the wife of Pulse Nightclub shooter Omar Mateen?
Katherine Clark, the wacky congressional representative from Massachusetts, recently proposed a bill called the “Cybercrime Enforcement Training Assistance Act”, which luckily didn’t pass.
The cybercrime she wanted to stop was anonymous people online calling feminists fat and ugly. You’d think cybercrime would be hacking banks, or hacking elections. But instead she’d spend 20 million dollars a year teaching cops how to stop people from telling obvious truths, such as women would be happier in the kitchen and that feminism is the final stage in a process that begins with overeating and cobwebbed vaginas.
Here’s the thing. Anything the government or authorities do to stop bullying just results in bullies getting stronger. This is backed up by the Journal of Criminology, where scientists from the University of Texas and Michigan State found that students at schools with anti-bullying programs are more likely to be bullied than at those without.
The nanny state exists not to protect you or anyone else, but rather to control you. I guess it makes sense that the same people praying for the CIA to block Trump from being President want the government to control their thoughts and actions online.
The United States government isn’t alone in fighting the fictional crime of cyberbullying. The United Nations is also on the case!
Now I know many of you scoff at that — “Oh, the United Nations is stupid, and powerless!”
But America gave control of the Internet over to the United Nations, or weren’t you paying attention to the Dangerous Faggot tour? It’s like I told you at the University of Alabama.
Cyberbullying isn’t expansive enough for the UN, so they call it cyberviolence. And according to the UN, cyberviolence against women is as bad as real life violence. Amazing idea, the United Nations thinks women are so fragile that words can hurt them as much as sticks and stones!
“The report also argues that “cyber touch is recognized as equally as harmful as physical touch,” suggesting that online harassment might be just as lethal as domestic violence or sexual abuse.”
In a way, this is the left-wing endgame. Your behavior and speech online should be dictated by privileged middle class feminists who have never done a hard day of work in their life.
The UN issued a report called “Cyber Violence Against Women and Girls: A Global Wake-up Call”. The report was so hilariously filled with bullshit and errors, they eventually had to pull it offline. But only because my Breitbart colleagues and I tore it apart. They probably considered my reporting to be cyberbullying.
Anita Sarkeesian testified in front of the United Nations on this issue, and she illustrates the expansion of definitions that I mentioned earlier. Anita said online “harassment” doesn’t simply consist of what is “legal and illegal,” but “also the day-to-day grind of ‘you’re a liar’ and ‘you suck,’ including all of these hate videos that attack us on a regular basis.”
Anita darling… you suck and you’re a liar. People don’t hate you because you’re a woman. They hate you because you’re a cunt. And fix your fucking eyebrows.
The United Nations based this report on lunatics, like a guy who thinks Pokemon is Satanic, and sex-negative feminist sourpuss Gail Dines. Again, I will remind you that they will control the Internet soon.
Cyberbullying isn’t real. But bullying and harassment certainly are real. Trust me friends, I went to school in England, they’ve got bullying down to a fine art. I know, because I was one of its chief architects. I was awful to my fellow schoolboys.
The only person who regularly victimised me was my parish priest. But I kind of liked it. Shout out, Fr Duane.
Similarly, not all victims of bullying and harassment are purely crybabies or attention-seeking losers. There are very real victims in this world, but uniformly, they are the victim of more serious crimes than simple bullying over the computer.
I’m referring to young people that kill themselves following online harassment. One thing you might not know is that overwhelmingly these are young men, and not young women.
To refer to a famous case, Tyler Clementi, a freshman at Rutgers, killed himself by jumping off a bridge following his roommate recording him kissing another man. The roommate spread the footage via social media, and his friends made mean comments about Tyler.
To call this is a cyberbullying case is stupid. The roommate recorded Tyler without his consent. We don’t need special laws to prevent this, because it’s already against the law.
Tyler was failed by his teachers, mentors, and the other people in his life including his parents because he was raised completely incapable of dealing with this admittedly unfortunate situation.
There were several obvious avenues of action, including contacting the police and his own university — or simply counselling to come to terms with his sexual orientation.
We lost a bright young man, one of many young men who has committed suicide. This didn’t need to happen. But it isn’t an indictment of the Internet — mean people have existed since the beginning of time. It is an indictment of a culture that left him thin-skinned, unable to unplug, and completely unable to process adversity.
To repeat: the internet isn’t the problem. The problem is not teaching young people how to deal with the brutal knocks coming their way in life. The problem is safe space and trigger warning culture. The problem is social justice. The problem is the progressive left.
Cyberbullying is a made up term designed to curtail speech authorities and left-wingers don’t like. Any actual hurtful activities online, like illegally filming someone, or sending a SWAT team to a competitor’s house as they play a videogame, is a more serious crime already on the books.
When bullying happens over the Internet, it is incredibly simple to remove yourself from the situation. You just turn the computer off. Shoddy parenting and left-wing teachers and journalists who have little or nothing in their own lives beyond social media cannot comprehend this or prepare their charges for the awful things out there on the web.
Bullies and trolls thrive on reactions. Just starve them- don’t give them any attention! It does wonders, and if you can laugh at them, you will start to build up the thick skin you need to survive in today’s occasionally terrifying online landscape.
We don’t need more rules and regulations. You cannot fight human nature. We need young people educated and toughened up so they don’t fall apart at the first sign of mean tweets or people ganging up on them on Facebook.
I will end my presentation tonight with a simple list of steps for liberals to take. We can add cyberbullying at the bottom.
If someone is speaking on campus that you don’t like: DON’T ATTEND THE LECTURE
If someone writes a book you don’t like: DON’T BUY IT OR READ IT
If something on a TV show bugs you: CHANGE THE CHANNEL
If someone is being mean online: TURN OFF THE COMPUTER
Thank you very much.
Written from prepared remarks.
MILO wears jeans by True Religion, $200. Shirt by Pam & Gela, $220. Sneakers by Gucci, $750. Glasses by Givenchy, $350. Louis Vuitton belt, $450. Topshop fur coat, $140. Huf socks, $15.99. Chains, jewels, pearls n shit: more than your tuition.