Ann Coulter: You’re Being Played, Republicans

A few years ago, I posted this riddle on Twitter:

What’s easier to roll than an Easter egg?

Answer: Donald Trump.

Now, I can add:

What’s easier to roll than Donald Trump?

Answer: Republican voters.

Democrats are playing Republicans like a fiddle. The left’s sole objective is to make Trump the Republicans’ 2024 presidential nominee. He’s already lost three election cycles for the GOP — why not make it four?

A month ago, things were looking bad for the Democrats.

Immediately after Trump announced for president last November, he may as well have gone into the witness protection program. Even Fox News cut away from his announcement speech. He had to have dinner with a noted Hitler enthusiast to get any attention, and, when he spoke at CPAC in February, the room was half-empty.

Looming before them was the threat from Florida: Gov. Ron DeSantis. He was beating Trump in the presidential polls without even announcing. He’d scored victory after victory against Democrats and won his reelection bid — in a purple state! — by 20 points, despite attacks from Trump.

Against DeSantis’ smarts and energy, the Democrats would be running President Senile Dementia and a vice president whose sole credentials are that she is black and a woman.

They had only one hope: Get Trump the nomination. Liberals: HE’S A DANGER TO THE NATION! NEVER HAVE WE FACED SUCH PERIL! Now let’s do everything we can to make sure he gets the nomination.

And that’s why Democrats indicted Trump on absurd charges this week, with the media covering the event like it was the capture of Osama Bin Laden. Today, the party mandarins are sitting around laughing as Republicans trip over themselves to defend Trump.

This was the whole point of my book, Resistance Is Futile: How the Trump-Hating Left Lost Its Collective Mind. Instead of attacking Trump for the things he’d actually done, liberals would run off and make wild charges, forcing normal people to say, I don’t like the guy, but he’s not a Russian agent.

The endless stream of preposterous charges against Trump only helped him.

So why not launch another ridiculous accusation to help him get the nomination? That’s exactly what they did in last year’s GOP primaries, supporting Trump’s nut-bar candidates, knowing they would go on to lose the general election. By boosting Trump’s candidates, Democrats managed to pull out a historic midterm victory for Biden.

And now, they’re doing it again, trying to trick Republicans into choosing the worst possible presidential nominee. Guess what? It’s working! New GOP motto: Unable to learn from the third kick of a mule.

In response to Trump’s arraignment on Tuesday, all conservative media swept aside news of out-of-control crime, chaos at the border, fentanyl overdoses, and the looming recession. Their No. 1 job became: SAVE TRUMP! A major conservative talk radio host even suggested DeSantis stand down and endorse Trump.

True, everyone at MSNBC is a Trump-hating zealot. But this helps obscure the real objective. Half the Democrats genuinely hate Trump, and the other half are saying, This is fantastic. We’re going to win him the nomination.

Politico reports that Biden’s senior advisers reacted to Trump’s recent surge in the polls with unmitigated joy. “We beat Trump once, they say, and will again.”

They’re absolutely right. After voters reject you once, they almost never change their minds. In all of U.S. history, losing presidential candidates have run again about a dozen times. Only three of those renominations were successful — and only one since 1892. (Nixon was the only one to do it in the past 131 years. Of course, that first election probably was stolen from him, but Nixon graciously conceded, instead of running around making a complete ass of himself.)

Everyone acts as if Trump’s 2016 win was a gigantic, stupendous victory, when in reality he barely squeaked by. Don’t confuse “startling” with “big.”

He was running against the most hated woman in politics.

Moreover, the country had been incessantly told that Hillary had it in the bag. On Election Day, The New York Times put her chances of winning at 85 percent. Princeton professor Sam Wang — who’d correctly predicted 49 out of 50 states in 2012! — said Clinton was more than 99 percent likely to be the next president. How many Clinton voters saw those polls and thought, I’ll just say I voted for her and go get my nails done.

Yet and still, out of 139 million votes cast in 2016, Trump won with a mere 80,000 votes across three states. Flip those votes, and Hillary wins.

Trump’s winning was a shock, but it wasn’t an amazing, spectacular victory, indicative of some sort of electoral magic.

And then, of course, Trump went on to turn his presidency over to Jared and Ivanka, betray his voters (But he moved the embassy!), and lose the next three election cycles.

Republicans: No matter how angry you are at Democrats for politicizing the law, please remember: Trump. Will. Lose. To. Biden. There is absolutely no scenario in which he wins. The good news is there’s virtually no scenario where Biden wins — unless Trump is his opponent.