Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-Fascist) wants us to know, “There is very concerning science about some of the emissions from gas stoves.”

“Some of the emissions”?

So are there other emissions that are okay?

According to Rep. Rocket Scientist, this is very concerning science, “especially around the cognitive development of young children, asthma, cancer, et cetera.”

Man alive.

AOC uses a gas stove, so let’s be broadminded enough to admit there is some evidence for the “cognitive development” part.

Then she tried to own us conservatards by pointing and laughing at our reaction to the federal government clearly threatening to ban gas stoves. “No secret government agency is going to bust down your door and take your gas stove away,” Ocasio-Cortez sneered. “This is a decision about what may be sold and regulations in the far future. Okay? So everyone just take the temperature down a little bit.”

In other words, she’d like us to shut up about this until the “far future,” when it’s too late.

AOC then offered her own science-y solution.

“Maybe if you cook and you don’t have the exhaust hood on, maybe you turn that on,” she suggested. “Maybe if you’re in a place where it’s amenable, and you’re cooking, open a window if it’s not freezing out or there’s another issue.”

Maybe you mind your own business.

Maybe?

Does anyone believe gas stoves cause cancer or asthma or inhibit cognitive development?

Why would any sane, reasonable person with healthy cognitive development believe such a thing?

Surely, I’m not the first to notice how every scientific study perfectly slips between the sheets of the left’s fascist agenda.

Global Warming can only be solved through socialism!

Climate Change can only be solved by eating insects instead of farting cows.

Meat is unhealthy.

Your car is killing the planet.

Your grill is killing the planet.

Having any kind of fun is killing the planet.

But.

Obesity is healthy.

Chemically stalling puberty is healthy.

Smoking pot is healthy.

Viruses don’t spread in left-wing protests.

How often do these very same fools have to be wrong before we stop believing them? Forty-one times? Fifty times? How about fifty-three times?

How about this…

Instead of banning everything, why don’t we behave like Americans? You tell me the apparent risks, and I’ll assess how much risk I want in my life. Doesn’t that sound reasonable? If you want to cook insects over an electric range wearing a mask, Godspeed.

I’m just going to say straight out that I don’t believe gas stoves harm anything except for the leftists who want us dependent on a centralized electric grid they control. They want us all living in Californistan with blackouts and brownouts and insanely expensive “peak hours” because Gaia comes first or something.

Gas stoves have been around forever, and gas stoves used to always be on by way of pilot lights that were lit 24/7. Same with gas furnaces, dryers, and water heaters. Now, these appliances have electronic ignition, which means no pilot lights, which means there’s less gas burning in our homes than ever before. So how is it possible that our culture has gotten stupider with less gas burning in our homes than ever before?

Does anyone doubt our culture is exponentially dumber and more gullible than it was 30 and 40 years ago, pre-electronic ignition?

How’s that for a scientific correlation?

 

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