Rand Paul’s Annual ‘Festivus’ Report: $482,276,543,907 in Government Waste

US Republican Senator from Kentucky Rand Paul speaks as US Health and Human Services Secretary Xavi
SHAWN THEW/AFP via Getty Images

Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) on Friday continued the annual tradition of celebrating “Festivus,” airing out his many grievances as it relates to government waste.

Paul’s 2022 Festivus report highlights $482,276,543,907 in government waste and includes $2.3 million used by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) for an experiment involving injecting puppies with cocaine, $202,000 used by the Department of Defense (DOD) on Starbucks espresso machines, and $3 million for the construction of a Gandhi museum.

This will be the 10th year in a row that I’ve celebrated #Festivus with you. By celebrated I mean have a little fun at the expense of Washington. If we don’t laugh we might cry,” Paul wrote before sharing some of the highlights of the report to his social media page and invoking the infamous Seinfeld quote from Frank Costanza, “I’ve got a lot of problems with you people!”

“I would air my grievance at Fauci again but I am trying to be festive — and also I’m trying to get home for Christmas. If I listed all of the things Fauci was wrong on…wow that guy is wrong a LOT,” Paul began:

According to Paul, the DOD wasted millions this year, including $28 million on “camouflage” uniforms that did not work.

Per the Festivus report:

A Special Inspector General for Afghanistan Reconstruction (SIGAR) report revealed that the Department of Defense (DOD) spent roughly $28 million on forest-patterned, “camouflage” uniforms to use in the deserts of Afghanistan. It was later found that the camouflage uniforms were “not based on an evaluation of its appropriateness for the Afghan environment.”

The DOD also spent $192,952 on what the report describes as “top-of-the-line” Starbucks espresso machines:

The NIH also wasted a significant amount of money. That includes $2.1 million on encouraging Ethiopians to wear shoes, $2.3 million injecting beagle puppies with cocaine, $1.1 million on “training mice to binge drink alcohol,” over $519,000 using mice to study racial aggression, and $187,500 on “verifying that kids love their pets.”

According to the report, the pet grant went to Kent State University, which used the funds to apparently “verify that the relationship between pets and children is beneficial to mental health.”

Other highlights directly from the report include:

  • Maintaining 77,000 empty Federal buildings (GSA)………………..………….$1,700,000,000
  • Helping illegal immigrants avoid deportation (DHS)……………………….…. $168,000,000
  • Overpaying government contractors for a terminated contract (GSA)…………..$69,000,000
  • Using COVID relief funds to construct an 11,000 square foot spa……….……. $140,000,000
  • Watching hamsters fight on steroids (NIH)………………………..………….…..$3,000,000
  • Studying the romance between parrots (NSF)……………..………………………….…$689,222
  • A radio campaign telling drivers to stop at railroad crossings (DOT)………………..$200,000

Read the full Festivus report here.

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