Here’s my secret plan. It’s a secret and terribly selfish, so let’s keep it between us… You see, I don’t think there will ever be a cure for the coronavirus. Color me a cynic, but I don’t see it. Did you know there’s still no cure for the epidemics of 1918 and 1969, for the Spanish and Hong Kong flus that wiped out millions? So all this talk about coronavirus vaccines and cures by the end of the year, by next year, five years from now… Not gunna happen, in my humble opinion.
So here’s my plan…
Because of my lovely wife’s health issues, this coronavirus scares me to death, and since I don’t believe we will ever see a cure, my only choice is to remain in quarantine until enough of the American population is infected to create herd immunity. So that’s my plan… To hold out until 60 to 70 percent of y’all are infected so my wife and I can safely resume our normal lives.
Sure, that’s a mercenary plan, but it’s also a good plan, one every American should adopt who falls into the danger zone.
And that’s one reason — the selfish reason — I want to see these stupid lockdowns end. You see, the sooner there’s herd immunity, the sooner I can go see Fast & Furious 9. And while I hate to be the bearer of bad news, herd immunity is probably the only way we’re going to “cure” this thing: if 60 to 70 percent of y’all catch it… So please go out and catch it — but only those with the best chance of surviving it.
I’m also opposed to these lockdowns because they’re pointless. Without a cure, without a vaccine, and when you’re dealing with an infectious disease, the coronavirus is eventually going to catch up with everyone.
As Dr. Michael Osterholm, the director of the Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy at the University of Minnesota, said this week — and this needs to be said out loud more often — the China Virus is going to rage “until it infects everybody it possibly can,” which means it “surely won’t slow down until it hits 60 to 70%” of the population.
So there you go…
In other words, eventually, because you cannot be 100 percent effective 100 percent of the time when it comes to washing your hands and disinfecting your mail and groceries, it’s going to get you.
The final reason I’m opposed to these lockdowns is that once you’ve ensured the health system will not crash (a worthy goal we’ve achieved), lockdowns are not only useless when you’re dealing with an infectious disease; they’re un-American. There is no good reason to keep people locked down. We are now educated on the risks. We are educated on what can be done to diminish the risks (masks, social distancing, washing hands, losing weight), so it is loooong past time to free those who wish to be freed.
What’s more, and this is just me — a college dropout thinking out loud — I’m worried that if we don’t bite the bullet and achieve herd immunity as soon as possible, more people will die in the long run. And unlike the fake news media, who all have jobs (as do I), I’m also worried about the death toll that comes from the economic devastation currently taking place: the suicides, drug and alcohol abuse, spousal and child abuse that always accompany recessions.
My God, 35 million American have lost their jobs in just six weeks… And for what? The curve is bent. We know the risks, so what is the point of keeping these people locked down? What is the point of ravaging their lives just one more day?
And, finally, no one — not even lockdown champions like Govs. Newsom, Whitmer, or Cuomo, not even Dr. Fauci — have been able to answer my very simple question…
Without a vaccine, and with there being no risk of crashing the health system, why is it safer to open up next week, next month, or next year than it is to open up today?
I keep waiting for an answer to this question, but no one has one…
“BUT BUT BUT BUT PEOPLE WILL DIE!” the media’s fear-porn peddlers continue to scream as though that’s an answer…
But here’s the thing…
When these lockdowns end…
No one will force you to end your quarantine.
No one will force you to end your lockdown.
No one will force you to leave your home.
No one will force you to stop homeschooling your kids.
No one will force you to go to the beach or to the movies or to the mall or to a restaurant.
So join me. We’ll both stay home and watch Netflix until there’s herd immunity.
You see, there’s nothing fascist about staying home and watching Netflix until there’s herd immunity.
But there is everything fascist about insisting the government force everyone else to stay home and watch Netflix until there’s a cure, especially when, best case, you’re talking a year for a cure, but you’re probably talking never.
So stop being a goddamned fascist. You and I can stay home and wait for herd immunity while everyone else runs free…
That’s what you call a win-win.
Follow John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC. Follow his Facebook Page here.