What follows is an exclusive selection from bestselling conservative author and columnist Ann Coulter’s latest effort: Resistance is Futile! How the Trump-Hating Left Lost Its Collective Mind, in bookstores today.
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“Trump Is Hitler Times Infinity”
There is a whole group of Americans whose sole political position is: “We hate Trump.” From the moment he won the election, it has been total war against the president, like nothing this country has experienced before. The left is in a moral panic.
The liberal position on any issue can be summarized as: Where’s Trump on this? Oh, that’s awful.
The Resistance doesn’t care about Trump’s positions—they couldn’t name his positions. The problem is aesthetic. Liberals can’t abide having that vulgarian in the Oval Office. …
It’s not only who he is that enrages them, but whom he replaced. Liberals absolutely adored Obama, often obscenely so. Liberal women openly boasted about dreaming of having sex with him. Even MSNBC’s Chris Matthews got a thrill up his leg.
They didn’t care about Obama’s positions, either. He’s the mirror image of Trump. Obama was cool, elegant, slender, looked great in a suit. The fact that he was black was just a super-bonus. Fanatically supporting Obama meant liberals got to have a black friend. They liked that he was against the Iraq War but would have supported him even if he weren’t.
To go from Obama to the crudest kind of parvenu, bragging about his wealth and IQ, with gold-plated everything, was too much. It would be like having Fred Astaire as your president and then getting Rodney Dangerfield. We get it, liberals—you hate Trump. But you’ve convinced yourselves that he poses some kind of existential threat when your real objection is that you think he’s a douchebag.
The Resistance imagines indignation gives their apoplexy dignity. Instead of admitting they’re enraged that this clown moved into Obama’s house, liberals say: The nation is in crisis.
On election night, NBC’s Mark Halperin informed Stephen Colbert’s audience, “Outside of the Civil War, World War II, and including 9/11, this may be the most cataclysmic event the country’s ever seen.” Since then, it’s been a game of one-upmanship, to see who can issue the most shocking denunciation of Trump.
Liberals weren’t always this excitable. They used to pride themselves on their detached view of the passing scene, sneering at the lowbrows’ tendency to overreact. I thought the whole thing about being cool was to be cool. But since Trump’s election, liberals are the ones hyperventilating over nothing and devoting their lives to demented conspiracy theories. Conservatives are the cool ones, refusing to freak out over every little thing. …
Trump’s election has marked a tossing off of all previous norms from every institution in America: the courts, the colleges, elected officials, civil rights activists, the states, feminists, late-night comedians, the “swamp,” athletes, the deep state, and, of course, the press and social media. Even the pope!
In her first post-election interview on May 2, 2017, Hillary Clinton blithely announced that she was now “part of the Resistance.” It was a total break with American history—the losing side in an election is generally known as “the loyal opposition.”
If Donald Trump had said such a thing about Hillary—or, God forbid, about Obama—it would have been taken as a Klan reference. There would have been demands to imprison him. He’s issuing a call to violence! “Resistance” is a military term! It’s a “dog whistle” to the militias and the KKK!
What if Trump supporters then went on a violent rampage, donning masks and beating up Hillary supporters? I think everyone would recognize that we were in the middle of a fascist uprising. But Hillary’s claim to be part of the Resistance, followed by organized violence against conservatives, seems to alarm no one— apart from the people getting beaten up.
After all, we’re talking about Trump.
Hundreds of young white liberals showed up at Trump’s inauguration with the stated goal of making the historic event “a giant clusterf*ck.” Under an umbrella group named DisruptJ20—the inauguration was on January 20—self-described anti-capitalists, anti-fascists, and anarchists ran wild, smashing store windows, spray-painting cars, setting fires, and throwing bricks at cops and flares into police cars.
About two hundred of the rioters were arrested, but, apart from the handful who pleaded guilty, not one has been convicted. The judge threw out one of the most serious charges against them, “inciting a riot,” because, under the law, “inciting a riot” is defined as “inviting Ann Coulter to give a speech.” As the title of a Washington Post op-ed described the dangerousness of conservative speech: “Fiery rhetoric a close relative of violence.” Is violence a close relative of violence? Trump-era rules: violence is speech and speech is violence. …
The Resistance has ruined comedy, which is now judged on the target of the joke, not on being funny. And the target is always Trump. Samantha Bee, the archetypal modern comedian, editorializes instead of telling jokes. There will be no clever twists or surprise endings. A “joke” consists of a long string of invective, with the humor measured by the number of syllables she uses—the carrot- topped, human-shit-stain dumpster fire . . .
Most comics couldn’t look themselves in the mirror if they were doing the same routine every night. But when a mania has swept the country, taking the easy path can be richly rewarding. Did you hear that applause? And look! HuffPo is linking to us!
In that environment, you have to have a lot of character to say, “I’m going to do comedy.” The few brave comedians still doing something that is recognizable as humor have to live in fear of the Revolutionary Committee censuring them for insufficient anti-Trumpiness.
YOU TOUSLED DONALD TRUMP’S HAIR!
It was a comedy sketch!
We are aware. You have been put on notice.
IT MUST HAVE BEEN AGONIZING TO PRETEND TO CARE ABOUT PEOPLE IN INDIANA
The bedrock of the old-style Democratic Party was economic fairness. But today, liberals love that income is wildly maldistributed, with them at the top. As long as they cut a check to BLM and fly a rainbow flag, they can live like nineteenth-century robber barons. Corporate America is delighted—I had no idea it was this easy! The rest of us can only sit trembling, waiting for the next great social justice warrior idea for remaking thousands years of human history. Borders, genders, what’s next?
Liberals live mostly in the moneyed areas on the coasts. With their basic subsistence needs taken care of, they are free to dedicate themselves to patrolling the borders of class. The party’s new motto could be “Keeping the Bathwater and Throwing Out the Baby!”
The left has no complaint with the rich—they are the rich! There will be no policing of Wall Street. Only Internet memes and Twitter jokes are heavily policed for inappropriate humor.
The Resistance has become a hilarious version of the straights, the squares—the uptight businessman in his business suit, going to the big office. They have become “the Man.” Being “woke” is just another status symbol, proving they are elite enough to insulate themselves from the consequences of their BLM/social justice warrior policies. Their kids will still get into Harvard.
Trump gives snobs a wonderful opportunity: by sneering at him, they can make fun of the Walmart types without getting called on it, because they’re technically talking about a rich man who is president.
Hillary spoke to liberals’ deepest beliefs when she called Trump supporters “deplorables.” The Democratic base loathes guns, Confederate monuments, steelworkers, and Trump because they all represent a certain kind of middle-class American. They care more about a female Yale law grad who didn’t make partner at a fancy New York law firm than a union plant bookkeeper whose job has been outsourced to Mexico. In a way, it’s more honest having liberals not bothering to pretend to like flyover people anymore.
Nothing the Russians ever dreamed of could compare to what the Resistance is doing to democracy, obliterating the will of Trump voters, who wanted him to get to work on urgent problems.
It is nothing less than a coup.
My advice to the Resistance is: Get Trump on the worst thing he’s actually done, and stop running off with Wouldn’t it be great if he raped and murdered a nun? You’re right: if Trump had done that, he would be finished, done, put a fork in him. Unfortunately, he hasn’t committed that particular crime. What the Resistance is accusing him of is even crazier: Donald Trump plotted with the Russkies to steal the election from the most qualified person ever to run for president!
If you’d care to join me here on planet Earth, Trump is practically begging the media to go after him for not caring about any of the issues he ran on. But unfortunately, liberals have lost their minds.
Resistance is Futile! is available in hardcover as well as leading e-book and audio formats today.
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