The Nuclear Option: Jeff Flake Is Stupid Fake News

Here is a MAGA riddle: What is even worse than Fake News? That’s right. Flake News.

That’s because Flake News is not just Fake News. It is Stupid Fake News that actually makes you dumber for hearing it.

The GOP’s flakiest flake in the whole flakey Senate failed Arizona Sen. Jeff “Flakey” Flake took to the Senate floor Wednesday to denounce President Trump because — like the vast majority of intelligent Americans — Mr. Trump does not have much faith in, or respect for, today’s lunatic leftwing media.

In Mr. Flake’s speech, Mr. Trump’s harangues against the press earned the president a comparison to one of history’s great monsters, Soviet despot Joseph Stalin.

Because, after all, the hallmark of Joseph Stalin’s murderous reign was not gulags, famine, and holocausts — but press conferences featuring his personal physician in which the press hurled unbridled invective and nasty insults at the president on national television for an hour.

The question I have is this: Is Mr. Flake so stupid that he never studied one minute of history? Or is he so delusional that everything he learned in grade school has been utterly distorted by all the venom brought on by this crazy Donald Trump Derangement Syndrome?

Or, does Mr. Flake have such blithe disdain for the millions and millions and millions of people killed by Joseph Stalin that he is willing to dismiss those unspeakable crimes as if they were nothing more than minor pinprick insults hurled at the press over Twitter?

Well, I say let’s just settle this right here and now. Mr. Flake should be forced to undergo the same cognitive exam that Mr. Trump aced last week. Thirty out of thirty, Mr. Trump scored. What about you, Flakey Flake?

And while we are at it, I hereby officially demand that House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi also submit to that very same cognitive test.

Along with cuckoo Reps. Maxine Waters and Frederica Wilson. They can take their cognitive tests in lieu of attending Mr. Trump’s State of the Union address later this month, where he will discuss his monumental economic achievements of the past year.

Of course, not a single one of these Swamp Titans would ever have the guts to volunteer to take a cognitive test — let alone allow it to be revealed on live national television.

In all of the stupidly embarrassing questions, the press asked of the president’s Navy doctor, Rear Admiral Ronny Jackson, the only revelation was that the press really doesn’t care about the truth of anything.

How many scoops of ice cream does Mr. Trump eat?

Does he drink too much Diet Coke?

Isn’t golf bad for his health?

When will Mr. Trump finally die already?

In all the crazed, sputtering frenzy, America’s most vaunted reporters failed to ask the single most important question about Mr. Trump’s physical evaluation.

“Dr. Jackson, in your full and thorough examination of President Trump, were you able to detect a single racist bone in his body?”

After all, Mr. Trump has already declared to these scribes that he is the least racist person they have ever interviewed.

Had they asked Dr. Jackson, his straight-faced response would have been a simple “no,” before moving onto to the next absurd question.

But, alas, the press does not want to know the simple truth.

• Charles Hurt can be reached at churt@washingtontimes.com; follow him on Twitter via @charleshurt.

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