Just like every other ditzy beauty queen in the history of beauty pageants, President Obama steps across the world stage clutching the giant bouquet of flowers handed him by the Nobel Committee and pivots back and forth, waving mechanically.

Yes, he looks perfect. His eyes twinkle and he’s got that easy smile. He knows how to strut across the stage exuding confidence — just a hint of swagger — yet in that non-threatening way that judges love.

And what, precisely, does he yearn for? What is his mission in life? He belted that one out of the park.

World peace, of course. What else could a beauty queen possibly hope for?

And so Mr. Obama has pinned all his hopes and his legacy on achieving world peace with the Mullahs of Iran. Yes, these are the same Mullahs who shout “Death to America!” Who call us the “Great Satan.”

Even as they sponsor rogue terrorists. Openly fund radical Islamists hellbent on suicidal annihilation of modern civilization.

They call us the “Great Satan” as they openly and brazenly provide arms to Hamas jihadists who lob missiles at civilians trying to live peaceably in Israel.

They call us “Great Satan” as they vow to obliterate Israel from the map of the Middle East.

Truly, the only hint of modernity these robed savages seem to embrace is the atomic bomb. Or as President Obama calls it, peaceful, civilian energy production.

Yes, in the land of unlimited oil in every direction, Iran is just innocently looking for cheap fuel that is vastly expensive to manufacture and use.

Of course, the only person in America dumb enough and desperate enough to carry out Mr. Obama’s suicide “peace” mission is failed 2004 presidential aspirant John Kerry.

That is how you know whose side Mr. Obama is really on. He finds the one guy who lost every debate he ever had against former President George W. Bush and sends him to negotiate a deal with Iran. Is it any wonder we are losing this thing?

The other way you can tell whose side Mr. Obama is really on is by listening to the words that come out of Mr. Obama’s mouth.

The first hint came when he got all worked up over Senate Republicans’ warning Iran that Court Jester Kerry might have the backing of Mr. Obama, but in America a deal ain’t a deal unless the U.S. Senate signs off on it. In his confusion over the most basic tenets of the U.S. Constitution, the president got into a lather and condemned the senators.

Of course if he were actually trying to thwart Iran from getting the nuclear bomb, he would have simply used the letter to strike a harder bargain — with Iran.

Then, Mr. Obama again condemned American lawmakers, telling the world that if Republicans don’t support his kamikaze mission, “then it’s the United States that will be blamed for the failure of diplomacy.”

Wow.

With the president and his Secretary of Silly so unabashedly negotiating on behalf of Iran, is anyone negotiating on behalf of America? Or modern civilization?

Charles Hurt can be reached at charleshurt@live.com, and on Twitter at @charleshurt.