Gut Check: Thank You, Rudy Giuliani

There were no murders last week in New York City.

That, by definition, is amazing.

That’s like saying, for one week, there were no pies in Kirstie Alley’s fridge. Or no contagious bacteria in Hef’s grotto. Or no drugs in Andy Dick’s system.

It’s an anomaly. A miraculous one, when you compare that number (again, zero) to the 1990s — when the city could average over 40 homicides a week. 

You can pretty much bet that many of the victims back then were minorities (the murders occurred in poorer neighborhoods). Meaning, now, that those not being killed are minorities too. The NYPD is doing for minorities what no liberal program could ever do: improve their lives by letting them live safer lives.

You’d think that whatever the police are doing should be continued. Who could argue with such results? You’d have to be a flat-Earther to argue the opposite.

But Democratic candidate for New York City Mayor, Bill de Blasio, disagrees. Because progressivism trumps safety, at every turn. 

When he was on Alec Baldwin’s new show on MSNBC (it’s a network for people with messages on their t-shirts), he said as much, agreeing with Baldwin’s belief that the NYPD’s use of “stop and frisk” is “lazy.” When Baldwin said that, de Blasio replied, “I really appreciate that analysis because it’s a very tough city, and it’s a tough city to police…”

I have no idea what that means. Um… the city is tough… and what brings success is just too… easy? Therefore, it must be wrong!

But I do know this. New York has changed, and de Blasio has little or no idea why. Which is why, when elected, he might actually let it change back, unless common sense, and justifiable concern, wins out.

Now, I’m not a glass half-full person. Quite the opposite. I’m a glass half-empty guy, and what’s in that glass is tramp feces. Which is why I view the impending election for New York mayor with dread. New York has never been safer. All you need to do is look at the stats.

And what is President Obama’s choice for mayor? De Blasio — a Sandinista-cuddling, Marxist sympathizing, radical goofball. If you weren’t around for the 1970’s, congrats pal — you may be seeing a far worse remake coming soon. Think Death Wish meets Taxi Driver with a dash of The Warriors. 

The upside: a resurgence in “those” movies, the kind that paint NYC as a lawless amusement park filled with brutality and bad fashion sense. At least there will be roles for former gangbangers and less tourists taking pictures of the M&M store. De Blasio may be the first mayor, ever, to look at Detroit and say, “I’ll take one of those, please.” 

But I’m thinking (which I sometimes do) that I could be wrong. Or rather I’m hoping I’m wrong. Because no man, even one as wrongheaded as de Blasio, would dream of dismantling the very things that made NYC not just livable but downright lovable. He wouldn’t do that, right? Would he? I mean, he’s not that idiotic? It would ruin us, but more importantly, ruin him.

Well, he might try anyway. And he will try. But thankfully (this is where my optimism emerges), New Yorkers won’t let him. No one is going to stand for the destructive policies that have ruined Detroit. And now Chicago. The moment murders and rapes jump, the city will crush de Blasio like a misguided, destructive mosquito. Liberals and conservatives and everyone in between will remove him and pretend it never happened. Because crime affects everyone. 

It’s like letting your three-year old drive your car while sitting on your lap. Once he aims for an oncoming bus, put him back in the safety seat.

You can thank Giuliani for that. He got the populace accustomed to safety. He got them to expect a calm walk in the park. He got them to comfortably demand a decent life, independent of transients flinging urine on your windshield. Giuliani is the only thing saving de Blasio from himself.

Right now NYC is on course to set a record low murder rate, by miles. This might be the lowest since they started keeping records. And way back then, there were millions fewer people living here. Once you drive the crime down due to sound policing and gentrification, more good people come. Because they feel safe here.

Even hipsters. Those horrible, grating hipsters. It’s true: annoying, slouchy beta males are out-populating everyone, which, biologically, is mystifying. Downtown Brooklyn looks like a casting call for a movie called the “the Fat Strokes.” It’s closing in on a million and gentrifying. What’s left are the gulags — hot spots of crime, called projects. And once in a while, a psycho who pushes a young girl in front of a train.

The bottom line: New York hit rock bottom once, and no one is willing to revisit that. Let’s hope that cooler heads among the libs realize this and surround de Blasio with people smarter than himself (that won’t be hard; there’s a Quiznos on every corner) and then watch the crime numbers like a nervous hawk. After all, how can you continue to increase taxes on the achievers as said achievers flee your bloody vision of a progressive Utopia? Remember, during the Reagan era, de Blasio embraced the Sandinistas. That’s what experts call a bad sign. And it’s a sign that says: relocate to Jersey.

Greg Gutfeld is a mainstay on Fox News as co-host of The Five and the host of Red Eye. He’s also the NY Times best-selling author of The Joy of Hate: How to Triumph over Whiners in the Age of Phony Outrage. For more from Greg check out his official site or follow him on Twitter.