Obama Takes Credit for Healing Young Man Shot in Head

First there was Elisha in the Bible, resurrecting the dead son of the Shunamite woman. Then there was Jesus bringing Lazarus back to life.

And now–there’s Barack Obama! Obama himself bragged of his healing powers in his debate with Mitt Romney on Tuesday night:

You know, just a couple of weeks ago, actually, probably about a month, I saw a mother, who I had met at the bedside of her son, who had been shot in that theater. And her son had been shot through the head. And we spent some time, and we said a prayer and, remarkably, about two months later, this young man and his mom showed up, and he looked unbelievable, good as new.

That’s pretty impressive. Obama says a prayer for a young man shot through the head, and the next thing, you know (okay, it took two months, but Obama has more on his plate than Elisha and Jesus did) the young man is HEALED.

There is an obvious question here: with millions of families wondering how they’re going to put food on the table because they’re out of work, perhaps they should pray with Obama and he will HEAL them.

And the oceans subsided from their ascent. And the ozone layer was miraculously healed from its depletion. And the lion lay down with the lamb, the Islamist terrorist begged forgiveness from the Jew, and the deficit of the United States vanished as if a simple breath had sufficed.

And Obama looked at his work and found it good.

The Gospel According to Obama. On sale now at mass media outlets everywhere.