California Considers Bill to Legalize More Than Two Parents

Did you ever wish you had been adopted? Wish you had any other parents but your own?

Wish no more. State Senator Mark Leno of California (D) is coming to your rescue.

Leno is sponsoring legislation to allow a child to have more than two legal parents. Why, if Dad and Mom weren’t good enough, now you can have Dad, Mom, and Mom’s good friend Uncle Charlie (who looks a lot like you) to all be your parents.

Remember when you found that wedding certificate of Mom and Dad’s and the date was only four months before you were born and they had once mentioned that they had only known each other for a month before they got married? But Uncle Charlie knew Mom even before Dad? Don’t you worry about it. Now you can call Uncle Charlie dad, too. It’ll make things much easier.

Or your mom and your other mom had a baby because they got a sperm donor? Now you can call your sperm donor Dad. Whoopee!

Leno chortled, “The bill brings California into the 21st century, recognizing that there are more than Ozzie and Harriet families today.”

But Benjamin Lopez, legislative analyst for the Traditional Values Coalition, was furious. He said the bill was an attempt to “revamp, redefine and muddy the waters” of family structure. “It comes as no surprise that he would try to say that a child has more than two parents – that’s absurd,” he said.

If the bill, which has already passed in the State Senate, passes in the State Assembly, three or more people who acted as parents that could not agree on custody, visitation and child support could divvy up the booty in as many ways as necessary.

The Association of Certified Family Law Specialists noted that tax deductions, citizenship, probate, public assistance, school notifications and Social Security rights all can be affected by the bill.

Karen Anderson, of the California Protective Parents Association, said, “It’s hard enough for children to be split up two ways, much less multiple ways.”

It will certainly make basic conversations more difficult.

“Mom, can I have a lollipop?”

“Go ask your dads, and your other three moms.”