‘Dinner with Barack’: A Monologue

The above is a screen grab taken from President Obama’s Official Web Site. I have many questions. 

What are they talking about? Why are those papers on the table? What do they say? Who brought them? Why are they drinking grape juice? Why are there bread plates and no bread? Why is there salt and no pepper? An oversight? Or they don’t like pepper? Why don’t they like pepper? Why are two young girls in the background cropped to reveal only 50% of their faces? Who are they? What’s so funny? Who made the joke? Why are the two girls in the background not laughing? 

Why are my psychiatrist and his lovely wife of 43 years dining with the President? Why is the President so thirsty compared to my psychiatrist and his lovely wife of 43 years? And how come he doesn’t have grape juice? Why is my psychiatrist’s tie so loose and casual? How well does he know the President? Is this a session? Why would he bring his lovely wife of 43 years to a therapy session? I wonder where he met his wife and how? Has their 43 years of marriage always been such a picture of bliss? Maybe they’re just putting on a show?  

Maybe they’ll go home and argue. Perhaps about how casual he was with his loose tie in front of the President?  Although the President doesn’t seem to mind. He doesn’t even have a jacket on…but his tie is definitely not as loose as my psychiatrist’s. Why would she be so upset about that? Maybe he’s cheating on her? Why is he not wearing a ring? Why is she not wearing a ring? Maybe she’s cheating on him? Maybe they’re not married?  Maybe that’s not my psychiatrist? What time is it? How do we know this is even dinner? Can anybody read the time on the President’s watch? If they’re planning to eat, why didn’t they put napkins on their laps?  Why are their elbows on the table? Why is there no pepper?

Needless to say, I entered to find out. Perhaps you should as well. Official rules below. 

No purchase, payment, or contribution necessary to enter or win. Contributing will not improve chances of winning. Void where prohibited. Entries must be received by June 30, 2012. You may enter by contributing to Sponsor here or click here to enter without contributing. Three winners will each receive the following prize package: round-trip tickets for winner and a guest from within the fifty U.S. States, DC, or Puerto Rico to a destination to be determined by the Sponsor; hotel accommodations; and dinner with President Obama on a date to be determined by the Sponsor (approximate retail value of all prizes $4,800). Odds of winning depend on number of entries received. Promotion open only to U.S. citizens, or lawful permanent U.S. residents who are legal residents of 50 United States, District of Columbia and Puerto Rico and 18 or older (or of majority under applicable law). Promotion subject to Official Rules and additional restrictions on eligibility. Sponsor: Obama for America, 130 E. Randolph St., Chicago, IL 60601.