The German Chancellor and French President have put together a plan to boost growth. Sounds like a good goal, but what specifically are they proposing?

Some of the obvious ideas include:

But those are only obvious ideas if you want a growth plan that actually leads to…(drum roll, please)…more growth.

Merkel and Sarkozy must have some other objective in mind, because they’ve proposed a plan comprised of new taxes, higher taxes, and tax harmonization.

This is beyond satire. Even if I was trying to make fun of the French and Germans (perish the thought), I wouldn’t be able to make up something this absurd.

Here’s some of what the EU Observer reported.

A six-point plan drafted by France and Germany has suggested corporate tax “co-ordination,” an EU financial transactions tax and the re-deployment of EU funds in troubled countries as ways to spur growth and jobs. …Paris and Berlin have teamed up once more and drafted a six-page paper called “Ways out of the crisis – strengthen growth now!” …The financial transactions tax – a pet project of French President Nicolas Sarkozy ahead of his re-election bid in April – features among the six proposals under “efforts to reinforce the framework of financial market.” …plans for “tax co-ordination” and another Franco-German proposal to be put forward by end of February on the “convergence of their corporate tax.” “European institutions and member states should accelerate the process of tax coordination in order to foster growth” …Apart from the Tobin tax, both leaders want to speed up EU legislation on an energy tax and a “common consolidated corporate tax base.”

Even Obama is not this blind to reality. He’s a big fan of higher taxes, of course, but at least the President realizes you don’t pass the laugh test if you tell people that higher taxes will “spur jobs and growth.”

Returning to Merkel and Sarkozy, the dynamic duo of statism also have some bizarre ideas on the spending side of the fiscal ledger. Here are a couple of additional passages from the story.

…proposal would have 25 percent of unspent EU regional funds in countries under a bail-out program or under serious economic difficulties redirected to a special “fund for growth and competitiveness.” …As for employment-boosting measures, one of Sarkozy’s make-or-break campaign themes, the document asks governments to instruct employment agencies to make an offer to every unemployed person – be it for a job, an apprenticeship or further training.

The notion that bureaucrats and politicians can boost prosperity with some sort of “fund for growth and competitiveness” is hardly worth a rebuttal. I’ll just wish them luck as they create European versions of Solyndra.

The other idea, though, is worth a bit more analysis. If the article is correct, the Merkozy twins are going to wave a magic wand and direct employment agencies to make an offer to everybody.

Gee, isn’t that wonderful. While they’re at it, why don’t they turbo-charge the wand and insist that all the offers be for jobs making twice the national wage. With this kind of magical thinking, it’s just a matter of time before 90 percent of the population is part of the top-10 percent.

You may be thinking the previous sentence doesn’t make sense, but that’s probably because you’re one of those crazy libertarians who doesn’t understand how higher taxes boost economic performance.

In previous posts, I’ve expressed some pessimism about the future of Europe. After considerable reflection, I want to retract those statements and instead say that the outlook is hopeless. If you’re reading this from Europe, get out while you still can.

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P.S. I’ve been reminded that Merkel and Sarkozy are not alone in their crazy theory that higher taxes are good for growth. The geniuses at the Congressional Budget Office have written that higher taxes are good for long-run growth, even to the point of implying that 100 percent tax rates would maximize economic performance.

P.P.S. I’m further reminded that the Congressional Research Service also seems to think that higher taxes increase economic growth. Perhaps German and French spies have taken over Washington?