U.S. Loses World Cup to…Qatar

President Obama dispatched former President Bill Clinton and, mysteriously available, Attorney General Eric Holder to Zurich to bolster the U.S.’s bid for the 2022 World Cup.

They failed. The heretofore totally unknown Gulf State of Qatar beat us. (In Qatar, the temperature often rises above 100 degrees in summer. PERFECT for a soccer match.)

First the Olympics, now this. I guess we’re still waiting for that tidal wave of global goodwill that was supposed to wash up on our shores once The One was elected.