Right off the bat, hear my barbaric yawp: “Less Government!”

I want to strip the bark off and tenderize the tough meat of Uncle Sam until he heels without so much as a cross look from likely voters. I want to make government our bitch.

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So to those who are terribly angry – relax, I’m on your side. That said, it is time for Republicans to start talking about a new theory of government.

Listen up, Luntz! The phrase we need to drumbeat is GOV2.0.

Republicans need to stand for MODERN GOVERNMENT. Breathe. Don’t freak out. Supporting government in any form right now is not heresy, and acting like it… is political suicide. We have to put forward plans that work, plans that will save Medicare, plans that can save Social Security. This is the way to win deep gains in purple districts, lock in the elderly votes in FL, and get the young urban turks to stop and take notice of the GOP.

Ask yourselves:

  1. Are private sector unions strong in MODERN AMERICA? No.
  2. Have massive productivity gains reduced headcount (and prices) in MODERN COMPANIES while increasing value? Yes.
  3. Can we find jaw dropping savings in MODERN GOVERNMENT? Yes.

This is not “waste, fraud, and abuse.” This is not John McCain going over the budget line by line. We need to laugh at those concepts. Ho-ho, Barry. No, we’re talking about firings. Reducing headcounts at government agencies, bringing in new web based technologies, outsourcing public services to non-union private contractors.

This is the new GOP mantra: GOV2.0. On-line government. A new kind of government. A government that doesn’t cut programs (yet), but saves 20% in overhead in the next two years. This should be our rally cry.

The watchword for Republicans needs to be “productivity.” As in, “Why the hell hasn’t our government gotten more productive?” Here’s why:

For more than two decades, the Bureau of Labor Statistics had collected, analyzed, and published data on labor productivity in the Federal Government. Due to budgetary constraints, the Federal Productivity Measurement Program has been terminated. This article presents some of the statistics produced by the program during the 27 years of its operation. It provides a brief history and explains conceptual underpinnings of the program. Results from the program show a small, but steady increase in output per employee year in the Federal Government from 1967 to 1994, with the rate slowing somewhat after 1982.

WTF? Right? While the US private sector saw its largest productivity gains since the steam engine, the US public sector stuck one thumb in its ass, another in its mouth and took a frigging nap. And got huge pay raises.

Say it with me, boys and girls, “Public Employee Unions are EVIL.”

Brass Tacks: Companies that deploy IT and web services can fire workers while increasing output and reducing prices. Wal-Mart’s got me checking myself out. I spend $30 a year for unlimited phone calls. Look at any government web site. It’s like 1997.

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U.S. productivity (as measured by output per hour) surged during the latter half of the 1990s, led by rapid output growth in industries that produced, sold, or intensively used information technology (IT) products.

So here’s the smart GOP argument:

  1. Apart from Protective Services, the main function of our government is cutting checks. Republicans should say we want to NUDGE payees to learn to handle their benefits / payments online and use direct deposit. Maybe pay an extra $50 a month if the recipient goes virtual. Our goal is to close local Social Security and Medicare offices, fire the employees, and sell off the buildings. Ask any elderly recipient if she’d like less customer service or fewer benefits… it’ll be a landslide.
  2. Since in #1, we’ve got the old dogs learning new tricks… ALL other government agencies and programs will automate to web based technologies, and future pay increases for these public employees will be funded through reductions in headcounts. Budgets can be frozen indefinitely based on this argument. Want a raise? Make Fred redundant.
  3. Government productivity gains will be measured and published annually; pay increases for bureaucrats will be based on outperforming the other departments. We’ll celebrate those public employees that increase productivity and fire the losers.

The GOP is sitting on a dynamite argument. We are money and we don’t even know it. Democrats always demand, “What will be cut?”

The answer is not more taxes, the answer is not fewer services, the answer is not hemming and hawing – the answer is government bureaucracy has failed to modernize. And modernization means headcount reductions without loss of productivity. It means outsourcing. It means high-tech, web based cost cutting. It means GOV2.0.