I’ve never had the kind of fun enjoyed by passengers in this 1980 Greyhound commercial, but I’m thinking about taking a ride on the commercial bus line soon. Why? Because, as a taxpayer, I’m paying for it.

I came across this news after reading a release on the White House web site that listed the Missouri Department of Transportation as the recipient of $4.9 million in American Recovery and Reinvestment Act (a.k.a., “stimulus”) funds for use in “construction of two facilities and purchase of two intercity vehicles.” Curious as to the specifics of the spending, I placed a phone call to MoDOT and reached spokesperson Jorma Durant.

During the first conversation, he explained that his agency would be spending the money on construction of buildings for two nonprofit transportation agencies — one each in Poplar Bluffs and Macon, Mo. — as well as on the purchase of two Greyhound buses.

Somewhat surprised, I asked him to explain why the MoDOT was buying Greyhound buses. Durant’s reply was open and honest.

“You have a great question,” he said. “You have an amazing question. Why are we dealing with Greyhound bus? Actually, it kind of surprised me as well. And I’m probably not going to have the right answer for you.”

Rather than concoct answers for me on the fly, Durant told me he would dig for more details and call me back. About five minutes later, he did.

During our second conversation, the MoDOT spokesperson confirmed that, in order to meet the federal mandate that 15 percent of ARRA funds provided to states be spent on intercity bus transportation, the State of Missouri will use $945,210 of federal taxpayer monies to reimburse Greyhound Bus Lines for the addition of two new buses to the company’s fleet. In other words, Greyhound is getting a federal subsidy and the Show-Me State is acting as a laundromat of sorts. But I digress.

As for the rest of the $4.9 million, Durant said, the remainder will be spent on construction of facilities for two nonprofit transportation programs in Poplar Bluffs and Macon that exist, primarily, to serve older adults and people with disabilities in multi-county rural areas. In Poplar Bluffs, $1.2 million will be spent to construct a facility for OATS, Inc. In Macon, $2.65 million will go to SMTS, Inc.

If you’re old enough, you might remember the Greyhound slogan, “Leave the driving to us.” Now, you know who “us” really is — the taxpayers.