On Tuesday, President Obama will address the UN General Assembly for the fifth time. Year after year, he apologizes to the assembled–comprised primarily of non-democratic states–for any offense caused by his predecessors. He then promises to dilute America’s moral leadership role because we’re apparently all equal. Last year, he spent lots of time apologizing for the Benghazi video that wasn’t.

On Iran, every year President Obama gives the Iranian mullahs another chance to stop building a nuclear weapon and make nice:

This year, President Obama is expected to look for an Iranian lifeline–the kind of “lifeline” Putin threw him on Syria. (Other people would say it bears a striking resemblance to cement shoes.)  So expect more diplomacy–and more nuclear bombs.

President Obama is also expected to repeat a favorite theme: chiding Israel to do more to create a Palestinian state, despite the dedication of this state’s future leaders to incitement and violence–and regardless of the fact that today it is more obvious than ever that the Arab-Israeli conflict has nothing to do with the lack of Arab democracy and the carnage from self-inflicted turmoil across the Arab world.

Obama will speak in the morning, and the new so-called “moderate” Iranian President, Hassan Rouhani, will speak in the afternoon. 

Considering Mahmoud Ahmadinejad received warm applause for his pro-genocide, antisemitic, 9/11 inside-job speeches, Rouhani is looking forward to an even better reception. 

Rouhani has two primary goals.  He aims to say anything that will buy time from President Obama and the European Union. That shouldn’t be too hard, since both Obama and the EU have been falling over each to label Iran “positive, good, constructive” in the lead-up to Tuesday’s speech. 

Second, Rouhani wants to paint Israel as a warmonger for having the audacity to (a) resist a “nuclear-weapons free Middle East” while others in its neighborhood are trying to wipe it off the map and have zero intention of halting their weapons’ programs; and  (b) suggest Rouhani’s “charm offensive” is just plain offensive.

So here goes with 2013’s UN diplomacy-for-dummies–the dummies being the presidents who think we believe a word they say.

Preview: 

#Obama shake hands with Rouhani? Already shook hands w/ Chavez & Qaddafi, & that worked great. #ObamaInUN

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Obama give #Iran something for nothing? #ObamaInUN

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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9:00 a.m. EDT: Speech of Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon

#humanrights system will “deter” further violations in #Syria. Seriously? #UN rights machine fixated on #Israel.

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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9:50 a.m. EDT: The America-bashing begins:

#UNGA from Brazil Prez Dilma Rousseff. She yells on & on for e-spying directed squarely at US.

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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10:00 a.m. EDT: President Barack Obama:

#UNGA now. Main goal? Look presidential after looking like Russian doormat around the world. #ObamaInUN

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Obama promises to limit use of drones. Audience hoping for more sign of weakness. Gets it. #ObamaInUN

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#ObamaInUN #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#ObamaInUN #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Obama says, yes there is an Al-Qaeda threat. (Think back election a year ago.) #ObamaInUN #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Syria cuz I really believe in enforcement. (But Iranian nuke violations decades-old? That’s different)

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#UNSC resolution on #Syria which says will be consequences if Syria doesn’t get rid of CWs. Won’t get. Now what?

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#UN is incapable of enforcing basic international law. Surprise! #ObamaInUN

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Obama says Assad can’t retain legitimacy. Is “fantasy.” But no alternatives. No plan. #ObamaInUN #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Obama says: we’re “no longer in a cold war” Could have fooled us. #ObamaInUN #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Obama pledges an additional $340 million of your taxpayer dollars for #Syria. Spend, spend, spend. #ObamaInUN #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Obama whines we’re blamed if we do too much or if we do too little. Poor guy. Try leading instead. #ObamaInUN #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Obama, we won’t tolerate use or development of weapons of mass destruction. Empty bluster to his listeners.

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Obama says there are two priorities for me: #Iran‘s WMD program & Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Moral equivalence at its worst! #ObamaInUN

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Obama lists #Iran-US “difficult history” fast, then moves to “mutual respect” between Iranian terrorists & US appeasement personified.

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Obama talks about sending letters to #Iran‘s Supreme Leader and #Rouhani. WE NEED THOSE MADE PUBLIC. #ObamaInUN #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#ObamaInUN #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Iran‘s Supreme Leader issued a fatwa against develop’t of nuke energy. #Rouhani says they won’t develop nukes. Ok u can chill. #ObamaInUN

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Rouhani is pursuing more “moderate” course. ( Moderate terror-sponsoring state.) #ObamaInUN #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#ObamaInUN talks “occupation” of Israelis of what he has apparently decided is Palestinian land twice! Red meat to circling sharks at #UN.

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Israel as #Iran. #ObamaInUN #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Iran‘s nuke program & Israel-Pal’n peace’ll have profound impact on North Africa. Actually, Arabs killing Arabs nothing to do w/ #Israel.

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#ObamaInUN complains he’s been criticized in #Egypt by all parties. Says it’s not fair. 2-yr olds everywhere will be happy. #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#ObamaInUN will work w/ nations that don’t meet our ideals if helps our national interests. Astounding statement in this forum at this time.

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#ObamaInUN #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#ObamaInUN #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#ObamaInUN #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#ObamaInUN #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Obama talks about “a time when my people in America couldn’t vote.” Thinks good time to remind world of America’s worst. #ObamaInUN #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Israel @UN repeatedly. “Occupation of WB tearing at fabric of Jewish state.” “Indignity of occup’n” Not words of an ally

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#ObamaInUN speech @UN over. Reverberations’ll last. Repeated apologies for USA. 2 problems equal: Iran WMD efforts & Israeli “occupation”

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#ObamaInUN, get over it. Prez used UN to criticize publicly 3 states: #Syria, #Iran, & #Israel.

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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September 24, 2013" layout="responsive" width="600" height="480">#Israel more & listen more to “moderate” Iranians. #ObamaInUN #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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2:00 p.m. EDT: President Hassan Rouhani

As Iranian President Rouhani takes the stage at the UN General Assembly, we learn that earlier today he refused to shake hands with President Obama. Incredible. The leader of the world’s one superpower wants to greet the leader of world’s evil empire–and the former gets snubbed (from White House pool report, emphasis added):

What we had indicated was the same thing we’ve been saying to you guys for the last few days and the President said for the last few years, which is we’re open to having discussion with the Iranians at any level.  We did not have any plan for a formal bilateral meeting here.  We indicated that the two leaders could have had a discussion on the margins if the opportunity presented itself.  The Iranians got back to us; it was clear that it was too complicated for them to do that at this time given their own dynamic back home.

#Rouhani tells #UNGA #Iran is worried about “neglect of morality” (Like stoning women, and hanging homosexuals.) #no2rouhani

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Rouhani lectures us for his preference of “moderation” over “extremism”. From the face of extremism itself. #no2rouhani #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Rouhani says my election was a “wise choice” – if he does say so himself. #no2rouhani #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Rouhani says he represents the “realization of democracy consistent w/ religion” His twisted idea of religion. #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Rouhani attacks what he calls Western values. Guess he prefers Muslim violent extremism. #no2rouhani #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Iran‘s #Rouhani opposes xenophobia. Gives list of examples. Manages to leave out his regime’s grotesque #antisemitism. #no2rouhani #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Iran threat is “so-called” says #Rouhani. “Over last 3 decades” everything peachy at our end. #no2rouhani #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Rouhani upset by terrorism against #Iran! From THE state sponsor of terrorism. #No2Rouhani #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Rouhani mirrors Ahmadinejad: #Palestinians have right to return = end of Jewish state by outnumbering Jews. #No2Rouhani #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Iran, the greatest danger to the region is arming of extremists in #Syria. You mean by Iran? #No2Rouhani #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Syria, says #Rouhani. Oh, with one exception: our training of Assad’s killers. #No2Rouhani #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Rouhani says sanctions violate “inalienable rights.” (But Iranians have no inalienable rights according to mullahs.) #No2Rouhani #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Rouhani carrying on about “tolerance” – like tolerating Iranian killers, terrorists… #No2Rouhani #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Iran‘s #Rouhani: Hope, moderation, prudence, blah-blah. #Obama White House no doubt eating this up. #No2Rouhani #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Iran will cooperate with “responsible” actors = no Jews allowed. #No2Rouhani #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Rouhani: “we love the ballot box everywhere” Guess that’s why Iranian prisons are overflowing w/ democracy-seekers. #No2Rouhani #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Rouhani declares that #Iran‘s nuclear program pursues exclusively peaceful purposes. (We just don’t allow in IAEA to check it.) #No2Rouhani

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Iran agrees to time-bound talks w/ mutual transparency based on mutual respect. Mutual respect between democracies & terrorists #No2Rouhani

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Obama” says #Rouhani & warn him “not to listen to warmongering pressure groups” Another example of “moderation.” #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#No2Rouhani #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Rouhani takes dig at #Obama: “We expect consistent voice from Washington.” #No2Rouhani #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#No2Rouhani

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Rouhani: “We want justice over discrimination” Except for…[list too long to mention] #No2Rouhani #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Iran does not seek to increase tensions with United States. (So long as you do what I want.) #No2Rouhani #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Rouhani says “I propose the project the world against violence and extremism.” Starting place? Overthrow the mullahs.#UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Rouhani ends by talking about “all divine religions” Got it? The rest of you don’t count. #No2Rouhani #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#UN assembled give #Rouhani a round of applause. Not diplomacy. Lack of moral judgment. #No2Rouhani #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Rouhani was everything #Obama hoped he would be. Meaningless drivel & no substance. #No2Rouhani #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Rouhani proved to be a serious danger to #Israel & US nat’l sec. Enough to allow EU & Obama to buy in to endless delay. #No2Rouhani #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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#Rouhani? Iranian nukes inevitable unless #Israel goes it alone w/ hostile U.S. President. #No2Rouhani #UNGA

— Anne Bayefsky (@AnneBayefsky) September 24, 2013

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