Obama Wants the World to Acknowledge His Oneness

It wasn’t enough that Barack Obama was so narcissistic that the official White House Website actually inserted his name into the biographies of former presidents. That was to ensure that all Americans would be aware of the Chosen One’s spiritual omnipresence throughout American history; all American history, ostensibly, was to prepare for his arrival.

Now the world is also expected to make obeisance to Obama. The State Department had a long-running series called Background Notes, which featured analytical, objective histories of other countries.  No longer.  What was once an objective recitation of facts and figures about other countries that eschewed naming American presidents has been replaced by “Fact Sheets”, which make much of Obama’s policies and actions toward each nation. They don’t review history before Obama, simply speak of the relationship of that country to America under Obama.

Jom Roberts, one of the editors of Heritage’s Index of Economic Freedom, worked at the State Department from 1982 to 2007 and used to write these country profiles.  He attested to the fact that he had never seen edits like these under either previous Republican or Democratic Administrations, remarking, “They seem to be not ‘fact sheets’ but brag sheets.”

Even Bill Clinton was not this egocentric.

Worse, Roberts said that when he read the “Fact Sheets” they favored countries that agreed with Obama’s views.

One example Roberts cited of Obama’s overweening arrogance was the “Fact Sheet” on Brazil. Here’s how the Obama version compared with the George W. Bush Administration’s Background Notes:

Obama: 1,200 words. Mentions Obama by name twice. 70% of the document refers to U.S.-Brazil relations. Obama’s contributions voluminously noted on issues including a shared “commitment to combat discrimination based on race, gender, ethnicity, or lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) status; to advance gender equality; a bilateral instrument that targets racism; support for HIV/AIDS prevention, promotion of clean energy technologies in Brazil, and mitigation of climate change.”

Bush: 4,100 words. Never once mentions the name of any U.S. President. Only 300 words devoted to U.S.- Brazil relations, the rest devoted to facts and figures about Brazil.

Now that Obama has successfully inserted himself as the most important figure in American history to America and the world, there’s only one place left for him to conquer. It’s the right time; he referred to it longingly just the other day:

Mars.