Santa Barbara mass murderer Elliot Rodger left a 141-page manifesto in which he revealed a hatred of women–and an obsession with the California State Lottery. Several times throughout the text, the disturbed 22-year-old recalls playing the Mega Millions and Powerball games–and his bitter disappointment when he failed to win.
In one passage, Rodger wrote: “Becoming a multi-millionaire at a young age is what I am meant for…I bought a few Megamillions Lottery tickets and visualized myself being the winner….After failing to win when the jackpot reset because someone else won, I lost all faith…”. Later, he recounted: “I believed that it was destiny for me to win the Megamillions Lottery, particularly this very jackpot…but to my profound frustration I didn’t win.”
On one occasion, he describes secluding himself in his room before emerging to check the lottery result: “This must be it! I was destined to be the winner of the highest jackpot lottery in existence….With my whole body filled with feverish hope, I spent $700 dollars [sic] on lottery tickets for this drawing….I waited three days to check the result….My whole body shivered with horrific agony. I didn’t win.” (Original emphasis.)
Though much attention has been paid to Rodger’s misogyny, and his complaints about not receiving attention from girls, his obsession with the lottery–and his conviction that he was destined to win it–suggest that Rodger suffered from a fundamentally narcissistic disorder, of which his obsession with women was only one part.
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