Britain’s de facto leader Carrie Symonds — girlfriend of Prime Minister Boris Johnson — has been named Person of the Year by animal rights loons PETA.
She won the award for her work in bullying supermarkets not to sell coconut products gathered using slave monkey labour – an issue of great national concern in a year when the economy has slumped by 20 per cent, thousands of businesses have been destroyed and millions are losing their jobs.
According to an enthusiastic report in the Telegraph, an ex-conservative newspaper which would once have baulked at endorsing propaganda by deep green activist groups:
Ms Symonds posted multiple tweets highlighting the plight of the monkeys and urging the supermarkets to remove offending items from shelves.
“Carrie Symonds is a fearless force for good when it comes to making the world a kinder place for animals,” said Peta managing director Ingrid Newkirk.
“Peta is delighted to honour her for using her platform to encourage people to spare a thought for our fellow animals with whom we share this planet.”
PETA added that ‘activism gets results’.
This may be trivially true. But perhaps a more pertinent summation of Symonds’s influencer skills would be ‘sharing a bed with the Prime Minister gets results.’
Because clearly, it does. As the Telegraph article goes on to note, lots of Carrie Symonds’s environmental foibles have since mutated into government policy.
Ms Symonds has also long campaigned against trophy hunting, using her first public speech as the Prime Minister’s partner to draw light to the slaughter of puffins in Iceland.
Many of the issues she has campaigned on are slated to become law after Brexit, including a trophy hunting import ban and outlawing the keeping of primates as pets.