Princess Pushy — aka former Suits actress Meghan Markle; aka the current Duchess of Sussex; aka Prince Harry’s missus — has been telling anyone who’ll listen how tough it is being a member of Britain’s Royal Family.
Interviewed for a documentary on Sunday night, the Duchess was close to tears when asked by reporter Tom Bradby about the state of her mental or physical health.
Meghan: ‘And, also thank you for asking, because not many people have asked if I’m OK. But it’s a very real thing to be going through behind the scenes.’
Tom: ‘And the answer is, would it be fair to say, not really OK, as in it’s really been a struggle?’
Meghan: ‘Yes.’
Just a thought — but maybe the reason not many people have asked whether Meghan Markle is ‘OK’ is that most people think she has come pretty close to winning life’s biggest lottery prize and that maybe Meghan Markle’s problems, if they exist, are very much of the luxury variety.
Once just a third tier starlet known for a minor role in a fading US TV series, she is now married to one of the world’s most eligible men, a royal prince no less, worth about £40 million. None of this has to be spent on rent because the happy couple get a grace and favour five-bedroom ‘cottage’ free by the Queen, which was recently refurbished at taxpayers’ expense to the tune of about £3 million.
Plus she gets the kick — denied to even the most famous actresses in the whole of Hollywood — of knowing that her baby boy, Archie, is now seventh in line to the British throne.
On top of that there are perks like the private jet flights to stay with celebrity friends like Sir Elton John and Serena Williams, who threw a £300,000 baby shower party for Meghan in New York.
Plus front row seats at Wimbledon, which she would never access if she were just a common-or-garden US TV actress.
Plus, of course, all the free publicity she could possibly desire, including a recent stint editing British Vogue magazine – which again, she would never have been asked to do in a million years if she were just the pretty, dark-haired, approaching-middle-age actress who was in that series – what was its name again? – about a wacky lawyer with an eidetic memory…
So what, exactly, is the woman’s problem?
Well, of course, as we know, money doesn’t buy happiness.
What it does buy though, surely, is freedom from the stuff the less privileged among us have to worry about: freedom from having to do a day’s work ever again; freedom to be able to jet off to a private island anywhere in the world and to stay there as long as she likes, unencumbered by attention from the media she has now apparently decided she finds too intrusive to bear.
If I were her lavishly paid PR consultant this is exactly what I would be advising Meghan to do right now. Her popularity is tanking, she’s probably the second most bitterly divisive issue in Britain after Brexit, and if she carries on the way she’s going she could well finish off the job started in the 1930s by her fellow unsuitable American spouse Wallace Simpson and kill Britain’s Royal Family altogether.
Yes, I appreciate many American readers would consider this no bad thing.
But here in Britain, on the whole, we love our Royal Family. Or, rather, we at least love our Queen and the way she has steadfastly and with great dignity and gentle good humour held our country together through thick and thin for nearly 70 years.
One thing we love about our Queen is that she represents all of us. Because she keeps her mouth resolutely shut on contentious issues – she’s much happier talking about horses, about which she knows a lot – she has stayed above the fray of politics.
Princess Pushy, on the other hand, has charged into the most divisive issues of the day like a bull into a china shop – especially regarding anything to do with identity politics.
She has, for example, spoken out publicly in favour of ‘decolonising the curriculum’ at universities: woke speak for ‘removing any remaining intellectual content from dumbed-down academe, replacing the pursuit of excellence with the usual rag bag of feminist and race-baiting grievances.’
Also her relentless quest for the cutting edge of woke has led her into some unforced errors which a better-advised royal would have avoided like the plague: promoting a charity cookbook raising funds for a notorious mosque with links to several terrorists; wading into the fraught sexual identity debate by apparently contemplating raising Archie in a ‘gender neutral’ manner; persuading her husband Harry that there’s a thing called ‘unconscious bias’ which secretly turns all white people into racists…
Britain is not a racist country. Indeed, I think I speak for most of us when I say that we didn’t even know Meghan Markle was a ‘person of colour’ — she could easily pass for Hispanic or southern Italian — until the media kept banging on about it and turned her mixed-race background into such a defining issue.
In doing so, Markle has engendered an aura of racial tension about the Royal Family where none hitherto existed. The Queen, as head of the Commonwealth, is well travelled and obviously comfortable with (and loved by) people of all races and colours and creeds. Now some jumped up U.S. TV actress has appeared on the scene and is acting like she’s the first vaguely foreign person the Royal Family has ever met.
Worse, she — and her unfortunate, emasculated husband — have developed the embarrassing habit of blaming all the criticism that Meghan gets on ‘racism.’
This is a message which has been eagerly seized on by her supporters, almost exclusively the kind of Social Justice Warriors who secretly hate the Royal Family and instinctively understand that Meghan is their best means of dismantling it from within. If you criticise Meghan in any way, the SJW mob will try to shut you down with the “R” word.
But it’s not, of course, racism that has turned so many of us against Princess Pushy.
What we object to is being lectured by some random actress who only arrived in the country about ten minutes ago, yet now feels that because she’s married to Prince Charles’s younger son it’s her job to make us all think like politically correct Hollywood drones.
If Princess Pushy feels like she is being got at by Britain’s tabloid media — traditionally the Royal Family’s staunchest supporters — all she has to do is stop behaving like a Hollywood snowflake and start behaving like an actual British royal.
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