Guardian: ‘I Stopped Going to the Gym Because of Trump. Now I Can’t Open Jars’

‘I Stopped Going to the Gym Because of Trump. Now I Can’t Open Jars’.

This is an actual headline to an actual story written by an actual journalist in the Guardian newspaper.

It begins:

It was November 2016 and the only person I knew who believed Trump would win the US election was the owner of my gym. This was clearly a ridiculous prediction so, seeing the chance for some easy money, I offered to bet him $100 that Hillary would win.

But the gym owner, clearly not wanting to do his dough, pointed at this horrible thing in the corner with the name “sled” and said: “If Trump wins you have to pull 70kg on it.”

It was double what I could usually pull. And, if I won the bet, the gym owner would pull double his personal best.

I didn’t want Trump to win – he’d grabbed women by the pussy and mocked a reporter’s disability. He’d promised to build a wall and called Mexicans “rapists”. The thought of his presidency was frightening but so was pulling the sled. What if I herniated a disc?

Etc. You can guess the rest. Sometimes, you almost wonder whether the Guardian isn’t secretly a sinister right-wing plot to make left-wing people look utterly ridiculous.

In fact, often you wonder this: