Gee, for some reason a Snow White remake that wants to gaslight us into believing Rachel “The Unibrow” Zegler is more attractive than Gal Gadot is finding itself downvoted by more than ten-to-one.
The Disney Grooming Syndicate’s live-action remake of Snow White is scheduled to dead-cat-bounce into theaters this March. The teaser trailer for this much-delayed boondoggle has now been viewed 11 million times. Still, only 100,000 have upvoted it, while 1.4 million — million — have downvoted it.
We’ve already gone over all the dumb and smug things Snow White star Rachel Zegler has said to undermine her own $350 million movie. No need to do that again. Still, Zegler and the movie have another problem: Rachel Zegler is neither likable nor appealing. She has a smug face when Snow White should be the picture of innocence, someone we root for, worry over and care about. Zegler is so busy girlbossing, there’s nothing vulnerable about her, and it’s Snow White’s vulnerability that should pull us into the story and gives it its stakes.
The whole trailer feels so sterile and artificial, like it’s going through the woke motions. Gal Gadot, of course, is always a joy to look at, but the idea of being force-fed two hours of over-CGI’d bullshit about The Unibrow being more attractive than Wonder Woman is too much to ask of anyone.
Rachel Zegler looks like someone pasted Eugene Levy’s eyebrows on a thumb.
If this thing flops, you have to wonder how Disney will blame the public. Will Disney attack us as sexist for refusing to make a hit out of a movie starring a female? That’s a pretty difficult needle to thread after the success of the female-led Inside Out 2, Wicked, and Moana 2. Will Disney attack us as racist because The Unibrow is not white? Well, that’s also a pretty hard sell after the success of Moana 2 and Wicked.
The full Snow White trailer is not faring much better. Out of six million votes, there are only 30,000 upvotes compared to 762,000 downvotes.
If Snow White bombs, it will be Zegler’s second bomb in a row. This comes after her under-performing Hunger Games prequel and her West Side Story remake, which also bombed.
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