Life is so good that, according to various box office projections, the groomers at Disney have just released another expensive flop into theaters.
This flop is called Haunted Mansion (2023). It cost a whopping $150 million to produce. Once you add in promotion costs, you’re looking at a $225 to $250 million investment that’s about to open somewhere between—lol—$25 and $30 million.
Haunted Mansion also feels like the most Disney movie ever. Get this… It’s a remake of a 2003 movie based on a theme park ride.
The original, which starred Eddie Murphy, was a modest success then. But TV airing and home video have boosted its reputation over the past two decades. Nevertheless, no one was crying out for a remake, especially a remake of a movie that’s wa only 20 years old.
But this is how lacking in imagination a studio once famous for imagination has fallen. Disney has become enslaved to identity politics and its sexual fetishes and perversities. These dual obsessions have killed the studio’s creativity and reputation in ways that seemed unimaginable only ten years ago.
Sadly for Disney, Eddie Murphy is a black man, so when this remake flops, Disney won’t be able to blame its latest failure on a racist country angry over another “race-swapping” movie. Gee, we seem to like the Creed franchise, so maybe it’s not racism?
The original Haunted Mansion opened to $24 million and ultimately grossed $76 million domestic. That’s a $40 million opening and $126 million domestic gross in today’s dollars. Hard to see the remake coming close to that.
This expensive flop comes on the heels of an incredible trail of expensive Disney flops: Elemental, Indiana Jones and the Dial of Kathleen Kennedy Needs To Be Fired, The Little Mermaid, Lightyear, Strange World…
What do all these flops have in common? Gay, woke, or tired and unoriginal.
Above all, that is the fact that Disney has a serious brand problem.
A company that became iconic and a crucial part of the American culture for its dedication to protecting the innocence of children while telling creative and inspiring stories based on universal themes has reversed itself. Under Bob Iger, a foam-at-the-mouth left-wing fascist and partisan, everything Disney releases is politicized in the extreme. The Star Wars franchise was destroyed by identity and gender politics. This same obsession is in the process of destroying Marvel (hey, good luck with The Marvels!), and children’s content is all sexualized.
With its obscene desire to normalize it, Disney is no longer hiding its desire to have sex with children.
The results have been glorious. Disney+ is losing billions, theme park attendance is down, and Disney’s stock price has been cut in half and downgraded.
Also hurting Haunted Mansion (2023) are the terrible reviews and an inexplicable 122-minute runtime. Good grief, the Eddie Murphy version was 87 minutes!
Last night I watched a W.C. Fields movie that was 66 minutes long. That’s it. And when it ended, I was more than satisfied thanks to a countless number of huge laughs and a simple but satisfying story. What is it with these insanely long runtimes, especially for a movie based on a theme park ride?
The only downside to this flop is that I really like Rosario Dawson, who co-stars. She’s awesome.
Follow John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC. Follow his Facebook Page here.
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