Nolte: Add ‘Indiana Jones’ to This List of Kathleen Kennedy’s Stunning Failures

Disney’s Lucasfilm chief Kathleen Kennedy has spent the last decade destroying everything she touches and has done so deliberately. She obviously hates what made Star Wars, Indiana Jones, and Willow so iconic, and so, she used her shallow, divisive reactionary politics to express that hatred by defiling all three into something unrecognizable.

Nothing is funnier than watching the fake entertainment media cover-up for Disney and Kathleen Kennedy by inventing a whole new box office category: the “older-leaning franchise pic.”

That’s what the category the suck-ups at Deadline invented to pretend the latest bomb from Kennedy and The Disney Grooming Syndicate isn’t bombing. Oh, look, look, look… Dial of Destiny is doing as well as James Bond and Mission: Impossible franchises!

Oh, okay, except that with production and promotion costs, those franchises didn’t cost anywhere near $400 million. Oh, and apparently, a 67-year-old Harrison Ford starring in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Suck in 2008 — when the Indy franchise was 27 years old — doesn’t count as an “older-leaning franchise pic.” Why doesn’t Crystal Suck count as an “older-leaning franchise pic?” Because, dummy, Crystal Suck opened to $100 million over three days and $150 million over five days.

But-but-but when Crystal Suck opened, Harrison Ford was seven years older than Tom Cruise is now and 13 years older than Daniel Craig when No Time to Die (but Plenty of Time to Suck) was released!

Shut up, he said.

Allow me to lay this out as plainly as possible…

The Disney Grooming Syndicate spent $400 million on Dial of Destiny, which is one of the most popular and beloved movie franchisse in Hollywood history, a franchise that delivered four previous blockbuster hits, a franchise with so much audience goodwill, a chapter that sucked as hard as Crystal Suck grossed $317 million domestic and $790 million worldwide. If you account for inflation, Crystal Suck made $417 million domestic and $1.15 billion worldwide.

If you account for inflation, Crystal Suck opened to $141 million over three days and $212 million over five days.

If you account for inflation, Crystal Suck grossed $385 million worldwide over its three-day opening weekend.

Compare that to Dial of Destiny’s $65 million domestic opening and $140 million worldwide opening.

So pardon me for not inventing an all-new box office category to excuse the potential box office catastrophe called Dial of Destiny. Excuse me for comparing apples to actual apples, but now that the Supreme Court has outlawed the obscene, un-American racism that is affirmative action, it feels safe to tell some truths about the most destructive affirmative action hire in entertainment history: Mz. Kathleen “Franchise Destroyer” Kennedy.

Let us list her now 100 percent failure rate:

Kathleen Kennedy Destroyed the Indiana Jones Franchise

This franchise was so fail-proof that Crystal Skull, one of the worst movies I have ever seen, made a ton of money.

Indiana Jones has survived Nazis, religious cults, rolling boulders, hundreds of snakes, and Kate Capshaw’s shrieks. Still, he couldn’t survive Kathleen “The Force is Female” Kennedy, and the poison of her woke identity politics. There’s LOL talk of making Phoebe Fleabag Waller-Not-Cates, a woman with about as much sex appeal as your thrice-married aunt, the new Indiana Jones, but that’s just gaslight talk to pretend Dial of Destiny is not on track to become one of the biggest money losers in Hollywood history.

The reviews, even from woke reviewers, make clear why this movie is so unappealing. Our cherished hero is reduced to a bitter incompetent while Phoebe Fleabag Waller-Not-Cates is allowed to Mary Sue all over the place. Kennedy took the formula that killed Star Wars and murdered Indiana Jones.

Kathleen Kennedy Destroyed the Willow Franchise

Kennedy took another franchise and woke-raped it into such a failure Disney has already pulled the show from its failed streaming service, Disney+. Why? Because the Willow TV series is such a failure, it’s cheaper to pull it entirely. Imagine a failure so complete the company’s bottom line is improved by removing your product from its shelves.

And how did Kennedy kill Willow? She took a fantasy property aimed directly at your children and turned it into a grooming property filled with adult sexuality, including homosexuality, queerness, and transsexuals.

Kathleen Kennedy Destroyed the Star Wars franchise

Man alive…

There is no question that Star Wars is was the most popular franchise in Hollywood history, a franchise so bullet-proof it survived the George Lucas prequels, a franchise so appealing that 2016’s The Force Awakens opened to $247 million domestic and went on to gross $2.06 billion — with a “B” — worldwide. That’s how much people love Star Wars. That’s how badly people wanted to re-experience that faraway galaxy.

But Kennedy woke-raped Star Wars so badly that the finale of the Force Awakens trilogy, 2019’s The Rise of Skywalker, made almost exactly half of what Rise did: $1.08 billion. Kennedy’s Solo: A Star Wars Story and its pansexual Lando Calrissian actually lost money with a pathetic $392million worldwide gross.

The Disney Grooming Syndicate’s goal was to release two Star Wars movies yearly. Kennedy’s woke identity politics backfired so badly there has been no Star Wars movie released in four years and no Star Wars movie in production in seven years. Instead, all we’ve gotten are face-saving rumors about the next one.

Kathleen Kennedy Destroyed Lucasfilm

To sum up the above, that’s what this talentless, dreadful affirmative action has done — destroyed Lucasfilm’s three properties. Disney purchased Lucasfilm, handed it over to Kathleen Kennedy in 2012, and now all three properties have been woke-raped into creative failures. A brand that once meant excitement, adventure, and box office gold is now a national punchline that means 90 pound women besting up 200 pound men, transsexuals, scolding, lectures, and sexuyal perversion.

Kathleen Kennedy Helped Destroy Disney+

The Disney Grooming Syndicate’s streaming service, Disney+, is losing billions, and Kennedy and her growing pile of lousy Star Wars streaming series is a big part of the problem.

Of course, there’s her already-disappeared Willow streaming series, but the very Star Wars shows that were supposed to launch Disney+ into profit have only further sullied the Disney+ brand: The Book of Boba Fett, Obi-Wan Kenobi, etc. And let’s not forget the upcoming The Acolyte, which is pre-excusing its flop status by casting a man in a woman’s role.

The only reason Kathleen Kennedy still has a job is because she’s a woman. Period. Affirmative action is keeping her in place. But now that her work is done, now that Lucasfilm has been annihilated, maybe she will move on to destroy John Wick, or some other franchise normal people still love.