The sycophantic media on Friday were all, “The HarryMeg and Spotify Mutually Agree to Part Ways,” which I LOL’d at. Today, Spotify is kicking these lazy, fucking grifters out the door by calling them “lazy, fucking grifters.”

Podcaster and Spotify executive Bill Simmons started things off on his own podcast, saying, “The Fucking Grifters–that’s the podcast we shoulda launched with them,” Simmons said. “I gotta get drunk one night and tell the story of the Zoom I had with Harry to try and help him with a podcast idea. It’s one of my best stories.”

Simmons added of Harry…

Shoot this guy to the sun. I’m so tired of this guy. What does he bring to the table? He just whines about shit and keeps giving interviews. Who gives a shit? Who cares about your life? You weren’t even the favorite son. … You live in fucking Montecito and you just sell documentaries and podcasts and nobody cares what you have to say about anything unless you talk about the royal family and you just complain about them.

Maybe Spotify should overpay me to be an executive because I could’ve told them all that before the company signed a $25 million contract with this despicable duo of crybaby family backstabbers. Honestly, only an overpaid Spotify executive, or overpaid Netflix executive, or Oprah Winfrey could be fooled by these two mercenary monsters. All they have to sell is what will harm their own family, their own flesh and blood. We all have family issues. I’m sure members of my family have issues with me — me being the black sheep and all — but it is truly beyond my comprehension to go public with family business. Much less turn it into an industry.

Allow me to put it this way… If someone is willing to publicly smear their own family and eager to do so while Grandma and Grandpa are obviously frail and not long for this world, what do you think such people are willing to do to YOU?

Duh.

According to the New York Post, one Spotify executive described the HarryMeg as “lazy.”

“Meghan and Harry are the outlier on all of this; I think they have come off as being lazy and difficult,” he said.

I think the other word he was looking for was “entitled.”

Spotify signs a $25 million contract with these two losers to deliver podcast content, and all they get in return is one 12-episode show where Meghan sits around with insanely rich and privileged women to whine about “stereotypes” and some sort of holiday special, which I’m sure was loaded with joy and gratitude.

At least Spotify was smart enough to add deliverables to the contract. According to numerous reports, the HarryMeg “will not be paid anything close to the full amount they could have earned under the deal.”

In better news, the HarryMeg might be going broke, not due to a lack of money, but due to their insane spending. Apparently, security alone costs them $2 million a year. Really, $2 million a year? Does anyone care enough about these two that $2 million in security is required, or is this just another vanity spend of self-importance?

I would love to see these two go broke and Meghan reduced to the only status she’s ever earned: that of a D-list celebrity on a cable show while Harry stays home emasculating himself wearing an apron in their Encino studio apartment where the only security is a chain on the door and an alcoholic named Melba who sits outside smoking Pall Malls all day complaining about the fluoride in the water.