The New York Post has already called for the banning of “Gone with the Wind” and “Sixteen Candles,” no less than America’s greatest novel, “Huckleberry Finn,” is under attack in academia, and now, based on an anti-science (and outright dishonest) interpretation of the lyrics, The Washington Post wants the Christmas song “Baby It’s Cold Outside” banned or rewritten.

The humorless feminist calling for the ban is the Post’s Jessica Contrera who, in full well-I-never mode, assumes we are all elitists who, like her, hear the song while “waltzing through Macy’s” or “maybe sipping an overpriced holiday drink, or ice skating with your kids”.

Actually, those of us who live in the real world of the Obama Economy, are most likely to hear the Frank Loesser classic at Walmart or on the car radio while stuck in traffic.

Church Lady Contrera attacks the song as “icky,” claims that it “is becoming notorious for being creepy at best, encouraging of date rape at worst,” and appears a tad bitter over the fact that Loesser’s lyrics have not been censored and rewritten:

The lyrics haven’t changed; the female role in the duet has always been singing “the answer is no” as the man pressures her to stay. But society’s evolving views on the prevalence of rape, especially between non-strangers, has pushed criticism of a Christmas classic into the mainstream.

Contrera’s “proof” that criticism has gone “mainstream” are parodies of the song on “Saturday Night Live” and “Funny or Die,” which, according to viewership numbers, are less mainstream than “Duck Dynasty.” Anyway… She then pressures Macy’s to stop playing the classic and calls for it to be replaced with a “feminist-approved” version:

[H]ow much longer will a place like Macy’s want to play it as you shop for holiday sweaters?

Perhaps they could switch to this “feminist-approved” version of the tune, recorded for YouTube last year.

Here’s Contrera’s laugh-out-loud complaint:

They quickly jump to the one of the most damaging lyrics, “Say what’s in this drink?”

One wonders if she wrote that line in the dark with a flashlight under her chin — you know, one of those pink Barbie flashlights with sparkles on it.

First off, let’s address the anti-science portion of Contrera’s factually-challenged complaints:

  1. “Say what’s in this drink” is alcohol. Facts matter.
  2. The song does not end with the woman giving in or being gang tackled by frat boys invented by “Rolling Stone.” In fact, it ends with the man pleading over and over, “Oh, baby, it’s cold outside,” which you would think is something a feminist would applaud.
  3. The person with all the power in the song is The Woman.
  4. This is a seduction between two mature adults. She’s on the fence, and obviously wants to know how much the man desires her, and he’s communicating that desire while at the same time opening himself up for a serious humiliation. Again, she has all the power in this scenario.
  5. This is why, just as soon as they can, men are going to be having all their sex with robots who look like Angie Dickinson.
  6. Contrera is also a liar (of omission). Below is the charming “Neptune’s Daughter” clip Contrera references, the very movie she blames for popularizing this dangerous song. See if you can guess what Contrera did not tell her readers:

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You guessed correct! Nowhere does Contrera inform her readers that the very movie that popularized the song also includes a version where Betty Garrett uses the song to seduce Red Skelton! Yes, the song is gender-neutral — Bruce or Caitlyn can assume the role of the seducer-uctress-gressive-vite.

It is easy to laugh off Jessica Contrera and The Washington Post and The New York Post, but there is a very real agenda here. First off, look at what’s under attack. Our current culture overflows with nihilistic, destructive filth, but it’s the classics, the legitimate art, the legitimate beauty,  that the left-wing fascists want banned.

What I find most revealing is that in order to ban something beautiful, Contrera is willing to use the conceit that  women are weak and helpless pushovers who can’t handle a verbal come-on.

Final Note: We must never stop pointing and laughing at dried-up shrews who “waltz through Macy’s” and exclaim, “Well, I never!”

Do we all have to suffer through the Orwellian memory-holing, or worse, a “feminist-approved version” of this perennial charmer, just because Ms. Contrera is a genetic freak born without a “joy” gene?

P.S. People laughed at me when I argued frigid fascists would eventually ban “Blazing Saddles.” Still laughing?

 

Follow John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC