Fed Up With Guacamole Jokes, Jack White Pens Open Letter to Media

Rock artist Jack White has penned an open and emotional letter to members of the media to set the record straight for those he says have an “obsession” with his concert tour rider.

White’s list of demands was first leaked by the University of Oklahoma’s school newspaper and revealed the singer’s guacamole recipe, as well as his zero-tolerance policy for bananas backstage, which, without context, made White appear as though he were a diva.

In the letter, titled “FOR GOD SAKES,” White criticized “classy” journalists for choosing “click bait” over facts.

“People WANT a rider to be a list of demands that a diva insists occur lest he or she refuse to play a note of music. But in reality, it’s just some food and drinks backstage for the hundred workers and guests who have to live in a concrete bunker for 15 hours,” he explained.

“I defend the right to free information in regards to public funds, but never in my 20 years of playing shows has my contract and your rider been published in the paper that I recall.”

The Grammy-winning musician said his rider is no one’s business and explained that the food and drink stipulations were for his crew, as a joke and for health reasons. Apparently, one crew member is allergic to bananas.

White’s booking agency, William Morris Endeavor Entertainment, blacklisted the university after its newspaper leaked his contract. All artists represented by the company have been banned from future performances at the school.

“I know it’s a fun thing for people to try to turn me into a jerk and a diva, but in this case it’s pretty ridiculous and has almost nothing to do with me,” said White. “Can I go back to making music now?”