The ads are always a major draw when the Super Bowl plays. Some of those advertisements rely entirely on a major celebrity appearance and the advertisement usually succeeds epically or fails disastrously based on that appearance. Let’s take a look at three advertisements from last night’s Super Bowl and which ones were winners and which ones were losers:

The clear winner is easy. When I heard Clint Eastwood would appear in a car commercial and have a pep talk with America, I expected something a little more light. Maybe they’d use his “Dirty Harry” image in some satirical way. Who knows. But, when the advertisement started playing, the entire room (which was previously filled with talk and laughter and some yelling) went silent. Everyone was glued and listened to every word that slipped from Eastwood’s mouth. It was a pep talk alright. And I say we band together and start a petition to nominate Eastwood for an Oscar for his little pep talk. The second he starts walking towards the screen, he consumes you in his shadow. He speaks from experience and he speaks almost as a godfather to us all. By the end of it I wanted to stand up and salute the flag. It makes one more and more excited to see Eastwood return to the front of the cameras for his next flick:

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Coming in a close second would have to be the king of funny: Jerry Seinfeld. He brings the laughs in his car commercial. He never relies upon copying his “Seinfeld” image to bring the laughs. He builds on it and that’s why we love and miss him so much. His dryness and his wit and sometimes overacting are exactly what we want and he gives it to us all in the name of advertising:

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Coming in dead last is the advertisement relying completely on the glory days of Matthew Broderick. I love “Ferris Bueller” as much as the next guy, but the reason he and this commercial fail is because they rely completely on that image. They just simply copy act after act and line after line from the movie. It requires nothing and gets nothing in return. Eastwood and Seinfeld gave us new and that’s what we want:

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If there’s any meaning to take from these advertisements, it’s this: America misses the old school. We miss real men like Eastwood sitting us down and telling us: “it’s alright sonny. Don’t you worry.” We miss Seinfeld’s wit making us laugh in a genuine way. Nowadays, we are left with Taylor Lautner pretending he’s an action hero and “30 Rock” pretending it’s a hit with America like “Seinfeld.” We don’t want these guys mimicking their old selves (hence: Matthew Broderick). We want them still rocking the screens and the hearts and minds of America. Yet, Hollywood doesn’t seem to get that we like real men and genuinely funny people. It’s halftime Big Hollywood. Let’s send them a message.