'Breaking Dawn' – Why I'm on 'Team Bella' Even if Hollywood Isn't

Part one of the “Twilight” saga’s finale hits theaters this weekend, and although I’m a (relatively) cool guy in his mid-thirties I’ll be waiting in line to see it.

After all, how can you go wrong with vampires, super-powered wolves and a drop-dead knockout like Kristen Stewart? Trust me guys, it’s really not that bad. What fascinates me most about “Twilight,” however, is that the very ingredient that makes it so irresistible to young women is what also makes it so dangerous for them.

“Twilight” reinforces an age-old myth perpetuated by Hollywood and the media that young women should identify themselves through their relationships with men instead of figuring out what kind of person they are on their own. Consider the fan culture that “Twilight” has created – the whole concept is really a long-running feud or whether you’re on ‘Team-Edward’ or ‘Team-Jacob.”

Edward is the dark, mysterious guy that Bella becomes obsessed with, and Jacob is the supportive friend who is constantly competing for her attention. Despite how intelligent Bella is, her criteria for romance is flawed because it’s not based on whom she loves, it is based upon which guy she thinks she should be identifying herself through.

What Bella is really trying to decide is whether she should hunt with Edward as a vampire or run alongside Jacob and his wolf pack. It’s never about her own identity; it’s about the guy and the flattery she gets from both men constantly competing for her. That’s not what real life relationships are based on however, and so those kinds of expectations can only lead one place – disappointment.

Unfortunately, young women have a lot of fantasy-based propaganda from Hollywood and the magazine racks to overcome. Our media and entertainment industry involving women revolve mostly around one thing: how to get men to chase after you. Most young people are looking for answers as it is, and for young women, the lure of identifying oneself through a relationship is very tempting.

The sad reality, however, is that it leads to a dangerous place. Hollywood and the media create a false perception that romance and relationships are based upon an exciting, competitive chase with a happy ending, and as a result women are constantly waiting for a fairy tale romance that most men can’t live up to. It also deludes them into thinking a relationship can offer them total happiness.

The result is a culture of young women who have been misled into believing that whenever they feel a void in themselves a relationship is the answer. That’s not true because real fulfillment can only come from within and discovering who you are outside of another human being.

“Twilight” is a great story and a fun literary series that has been transformed into an entertaining set of movies. I’m not saying they’re bad to watch, but they can be dangerous for a young woman to take seriously. In all likelihood, a lot of young women are going to walk out of movie theaters this weekend actually believing there is a real life Edward or Jacob out there for them, and instead of focusing on themselves they will focus their energies on finding “the one.”

But a young, capable, intelligent woman like Bella shouldn’t be spending so much of her time obsessing over another person. She should be focusing on herself and becoming the best she can be on her own. That’s a much healthier message for young women, isn’t it? This isn’t about feminism. It is about individualism, and that’s why I’m on Team Bella even if Hollywood is not – because Bella doesn’t need a guy as badly as she thinks. All she really needs is her own sense of confidence and her own dreams so she can figure out who she is without relying on another person to help identify her.

After all, confidence, determination and desire is what real dreams are made of, and believing in oneself is where real dreams begin – not from a guy or a relationship, and certainly not from Hollywood fantasies.