Didja miss me? I missed you. But I’m totally back this week! You know why? Because Glee is back! After taking a quick way too long break, the show we all love to hate was back last night, and oh, it did not disappoint.

Before the first commercial break, we got our first glimpse of liberal snark when cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch) went on the air to expose the exorbitant amount of taxpayer money that the glee club wastes, like, teaching kids to sing and have self-confidence and crap. Thankfully, Mr. Schuester (Matthew Morrison) pointed out in a subsequent scene that the cheerleading squad gets $4,000 a month for pompoms.

I guess teenage boob jobs are on the rise.

Here’s the thing: Sue is running for congress, and she’s apparently running on the Tea Party ticket. No, they’ve never mentioned it on the show, but Jane Lynch has mentioned that her character channels Tea Party Patriot Michele Bachmann. And because Michele Bachmann and other Republicans hate children, puppies, and rainbows, Sue has managed to cut the funding for the school’s musical.

Then YAY capitalism! A group of parents come together with local business owners to fund the musical for the high school kids, which is really how kids’ programs should be funded … by the parents.

Meanwhile, Quinn Fabray (Dianna Argon) wants her (biological) baby back, so she puts a plan into action to frame adoptive mother Shelby (Idina Menzel) of child abuse. She enlists the help of baby daddy Puck (Mark Salling) while they babysit their progeny (nothing weird about that situation) to plant fake evidence to prove that their child’s adoptive mother is abusive.

Back on the political front, gay guy Kurt Hummel’s dad decides to run as a write-in candidate against the malevolent Sue Sylvester. As he says, “Some chick in Alaska did it last year, and her name was way harder to spell than Hummel.” I thought this reference was odd, as most Glee watchers probably have no idea who Lisa Murkowski is, or why the reference to the write-in campaign might be funny.

This is where I was almost tricked by Hollywood, you guys. Burt Hummel had me cheering for him with an eloquent speech about the importance of the arts, and how we need to keep funding schools to keep those programs alive. The truth of the matter is that there is more than enough money for arts programs, but that money is wasted.

Hollywood wants you to believe that evil Republicans want to kill beneficial educational outlets (like glee club), but that’s simply not the case. We want to shut down tenure, which allows sex offenders to remain on payroll. Heck, we Republicans are all for firing the pedophiles in order to fund the glee club!

Of course, then Coach Sue goes on a rant about how The Arts steal money from Special Ed kids… or something.

Towards the end of the episode, Puck goes back to Shelby’s house and he starts hiding all the stuff that Quinn had planted earlier, because he totally cares. Every teenage father wants what’s best for his baby, right? Puck even sings the baby song, which doesn’t at all romanticize teenage parenthood to the multitude of teenagers watching the show without their parents’ permission knowledge.

Then the episode ended with Puck kissing Shelby. Dun dun duuuun!

See y’all next week!