Nick Swardson: 'Born' to Smite Film Critics

It must be painful to visit RottenTomatoes.com and see your film has a zero percent rating.

Or, as Dean Wormer would say in “Animal House,” “zero point zero.”

Comedian Nick Swardson is facing that reality thanks to his new film “Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star.” The comedy charts the rise of a tragically under-endowed man (played by Swardson) who makes it, ahem, big in the adult film industry.

And the comic actor is not taking the news gently.

Swardson told Splitsider.com he predicted critics would be gunning for his film. And Swardson is gunning right back:

Nick Swardson: They were waiting, waiting to hate that movie. It’s kind of funny that they get their rocks off on reviews like that. They review The King’s Speech, then they review Bucky Larson.

Splitsider.com: Yeah, I also think, once you know how much work goes into making comedy, it gives you a better appreciation for how hard it is to really make a funny movie or a funny sketch.

Nick Swardson: It’s a lot of work and a lot of reviewers aren’t going into that movie to like it. They don’t want to like it. None of those reviewers was psyched to see Bucky Larson and laugh. They go in with the mentality, [expletive] these guys for making another movie. They go in there to kind of headhunt. It makes me laugh because it’s just so embarrassing. It makes them look like such morons. You can’t review ‘Avatar’ then review ‘Bucky Larson.’ Comedy is so subjective, you know what I mean? To sit there and technically pick it apart is so stupid. We’ve never made movies for critics, so we could give a [expletive].

Here’s a tip, Mr. Swardson. The last thing a movie critic wants is to waste two good hours watching garbage. I root for every film I see to either meet my expectations or exceed them, even movies that give every indication of being a clunker.

A good critic, and it’s fair to say that includes plenty of my peers, can handle reviewing an Oscar caliber film one day and a grossout comedy the next. Did you read the sparkling reviews for “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” or “Superbad?”

Compare Swardson’s thin-skinned reaction to that of Joss Whedon, the mastermind behind TV’s “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” now toiling to bring “The Avengers” to the big screen.

“Every day I make some boneheaded mistake, and I go, ‘Really? Wow. So no learning curve,” he told Entertainment Weekly about making the new superhero adventure.

I haven’t seen “Bucky Larson” and I cannot wait to watch “The Avengers. But I do know this – I trust an artist who seeks to raise his game far more than one who practically covers his ears and screams to prevent advice from seeping in.

That’s something Swardson might consider before stepping on the set of his next film.