Todd and Sarah Palin Are My Heroes

The Toothless Rottweiler

Big Hollywood has a fairly young audience so I don’t think the pluses and minuses of old age would much interest them. However, my self-appointed assignment here as Sarah Palin’s guard dog has brought me more than a few black comedy dramas as the toothless Rottweiler I am. The attack dog’s “growl” within me starts the second I hear or see anyone looking down on the former governor of Alaska.

Why?

I’m a survivor of parents who chose to have not just one but two abortions.

Learning about abortion at the age of 9 automatically enlists you in the Survivor’s Guilt Club. Toss in an ugly divorce and you have a domestic war zone with two, indelibly damaged “Survivors“, my sister and I. Add “Children of Alcoholics” and, well, we have a play by Eugene O’Neill and August Strindberg, plus Freud’s Oedipal theories running riot in a young artist farmed off at 11 years of age to Prep-School-As-A-Safe-Zone.

Further dramatic details of my upbringing are peppered through my memoir, The Haunted Heaven, available, chapter by chapter, at enterstageright.com.

I have, however, made it into my 71st year and am quite proud of the few achievements that have adorned my life and, thanks to Alcoholics Anonymous, I have made peace with my ten lost years as a drunk in Canada.

Though Sarah Palin is my heroine; Trig, her son, is my hero. I have always, for whatever reason or another, felt what Trig will most certainly be made to feel: “permanently challenged.”

One RCMP up here, after questioning me following a nasty, barroom ambush by four young punks that almost killed me, told my friend, “Michael Moriarty is the loneliest man I ever met.”

Hmmm … not sure that’s true anymore, now that I’m almost eight years sober.

It was true then, however.

A drunk fearlessness had driven me involuntarily suicidal. I always knew how to find the “bullies” in the room and I’d just go there and stare ’em down. One set of them turned me into a basketball.

I’m reclusive now and have never been happier in my life. The few times I do go out, it’s with friends I trust and they’re there to stand between me and the curious who might just turn out to be closet thugs looking for a fight.

I meet such personalities occasionally in the comment section of Big Hollywood. I can usually ignore them.

If, however, they look down on Sarah Palin, I instantly become The Toothless Rottweiler!

Trig’s alive because of Sarah Palin and her husband and, in a spiritual sense, so am I.

I remember foolishly assuming that I was the child my parents wanted. It was somehow fed me that even two children, my sister and I, were considered one too many and one of us was the object of a failed abortion attempt.

That questionable privilege, I thought, wasn’t mine until a dinner in New York with my father brought my desirability on earth under profound question.

“I don’t remember whether it was you or your sister that we really didn’t want.”

I’m laughing now, showing all the gaps in my teeth proudly. Liberated rage, you know.

I survived my parents! If I can survive them, I can survive almost anything or anyone.

Trig survived because of his parents! No two people on earth are more heroic for me than Mr. and Mrs. Palin.

Add on to that the disparaging, elitist attitudes Sarah Palin has endured as a Vice-Presidential Candidate and still deals with subsequently and with divine grace?

Mrs. Palin is Saint Sarah for me.

The same diabolical calls for abortion that ensued upon Trig’s conception were echoed in the perversely feminist labels the Progressives plastered on Sarah Palin for being the Republican Vice-Presidential candidate. The thicker the flying mud aimed at Sarah Palin, the nobler, stronger and more beautiful she becomes in my eyes. If the rest of America knew what I know about being the survivor of abortion, they’d feel about Sarah Palin as I do.

America is now the truly endangered Big Baby. If the truth be known, she has been aborting herself ever since the Roe v Wade Decision in 1973.

Drunk on the privileges of Capitalist Democracy, she, yes, America, happily allowed the United States Supreme Court to duplicate the same act of surgical inhumanity they did when they legalized slavery with the Dred Scott Decision.

America has, for 38 years, silently and hypocritically applauded the Roe v Wade Decision legalizing the murder of gestating infants.

“Inalienable right to life?!”

Yeah, right.

I write angry editorials, send them in to my editor, John Nolte. Sleep on them and then e-mail John to cancel. Something by then he already knows to do.

Some of my articles, in the end, looked as toothless to me as my mouth.

They say George Washington had a rather unreliable set of dentures.

I haven’t investigated such an appliance yet. There are still a few teeth left in my head.

When I do go looking for a new set of teeth, though, and, after finding them, I have a shining set of “Pearlies” to blind you with? By then I’ll have a few concerts of my music to attend and you’ll see me there with a possible tan from my yearly stay in Italy, looking like the gorgeous has-been I am.

Yes. Only the performance of my music by a respected American orchestra will bring me back to America.

That and Sarah Palin’s Second Inauguration Ceremony as President of the United States!

George Washington will have had nothing on us!!!